Cafe Leone

I no longer have the courage to look in my father’s eyes.

uncategorized | 15 Comments »

(click on image to enlarge)

I know it is a little rough around the edges; most of what my dad builds is. Collecting wine, is quickly becoming an obsession. The room you see in the picture is actually part of the cantina that my dad built over 30 years ago. It was one of the first things he did when he bought this house.

This cantina would house no less than 25 gallons of homemade wine every year. As you know, last year my father was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease and has since stopped making wine. He lives upstairs from me and we cannot escape the gradual decline of his health. This collection is just one way that I have come up with to help me deal with the stresses in my life. My dad is an amazing man I honestly am not handling his disease well at all. I feel like I can fall apart at a moment’s notice. Luckily, I have my baby goats to remind me that I cannot shut down and crawl into a hole.

I confiscated a few shelves and have amassed a small collection of about 70 bottles. I am still in a very academic and discovery phase. I read other’s blogs religiously and devour their reviews. I then text message the wines to myself so that I have a mini-wishlist going at all times. I read about different varietals and wine-growing regions. I allow myself to be guided by what I am “supposed” to like first and then what I actually like as my taste buds develop.

I would be honored if you take a look at my collection, my hobby du jour. You can view a reasonably updated inventory by visiting my profile here on CellarTracker.

Let me know what some of your favorite wines are. I would love to hear your recommendations.

I have always considered blogging to be a very self-indulgent exercise and my recent pity party is proof of that. But I have also realized that my blogging world is as much about my relationships, very real and vital relationships that I have developed with all of you. When I wasn’t writing, many of you would still take the time to shoot me a brief email making sure all was well. I cannot begin to tell you how important that has been for me.

I think I am back on track. I have some real ideas for blog posts and I am aching to read your words again. Thanks to all of you, my dear friends.

Dan

uncategorized | 8 Comments »

Do they REALLY make “cans of worms?”

I can only assume that these would be used for fishing but how long do worms live in a can? So, if I fished, and I walked into my local Fishing-R-Us, could I buy a can of worms? Are there different price ranges for different quality of worm? What makes one type of worm better than another?

imponderable, uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Need I say more?

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You may not have noticed, but I haven’t been “around” the internets for a while; I certainly haven’t been blogging about it. Other than a few random tweets on Twitter (I would be honored if you would follow me here), there really hasn’t been much happening to the Virtual Dan.

You see, the 3D Dan has usurped time and energy from the Virtual Dan. Therein lies my biggest problem: Life gets in the way of living.

I am not so selfish as to assume my life is any more stressful than yours. But I am bold enough to tell you that I am not doing a good job of managing that stress. I have always prided myself on how well I can handle stress. I was an EMT for a while and I even took the Air Traffic Controllers exam ( a million years ago) when I realized that being a pilot would take a LOT of money. I loved stress and crisises crisiums crises.

Things are different now. The stress is no longer an adrenaline rush. This stress is a pervasive thread that weaves itself into each cell in my body. This stress has now been so internalized that I know there is a physiological price to pay.

Here is a brief rundown of some of the things on my plate.

My health: My leg has healed leaving yet another scar the size of a saucer on my thigh.  I need to receive Remicade infusions every 6 weeks. Each infusion takes at least 5 hours. Very draining.  Everything is fine but I fear a flare up at any time.  One result of my previous flare-up is that I stopped running as it is completely impossible to run with this disease. Starting back up again has been a challenge. I did go for a 3.1 mile run the other day though….now it is all about consistency (for those who follow my blog, I bet you can see how challenging “consistency” is for me).

My Baby Goats: Insanity is the rule at the Leone Estates. Each baby goat brings their own set of challenges to the table. I’ll stop here, before saying something I might regret.

My Dad: ALS (Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis) is a shitty disease. I am watching day by day as my dad progresses through the symptoms. He is virtually unable to speak now and his swallowing is severely affected. We all know what is happening to him and what will happen, but he prefers to work through this one day at a time. This is completely opposite of the “big picture” approach I would take if faced with the same prognosis, but I totally respect his perspective.

My parents live upstairs from me and we bear witness to the merciless, tomorrow-will-be-worse-than- today, progression of this disease. This puts an intense amount of pressure on the kids and I feel this leads to some of the problems that I alluded too above.

I know my dad is suffering and will suffer and that kills me.

Last Sunday was my niece’s First Communion in the Catholic Church. My parents have always considered themselves Christians but I have never in my life seen them practice it.  Last Sunday, we were all sitting in the same row and at one point, I looked over and saw my father on his knees praying. I may be an atheist, but this tore at my heart and I had to leave the church weeping like a child.

My work: INSANE! A pending deadline on a major, highly-visible project is stressful enough without the added stress of my normal day-to-day duties. But, truly, I love my job.

So, that is it in a nutshell…utterly uninteresting. The only purpose for blogging about it is to give me something to blog about.

Thanks to both of you for listening!

my father, parenting, uncategorized | 7 Comments »

I just overheard this 3 minutes ago while walking into my kids’ room. My 6 year old was talking to my 4 year old and this is the part that I heard:

….and then you fall asleep for 8 or 9 months and you wake up in your mom’s bagina

Should I be nervous?

uncategorized | 7 Comments »

Today….it is all about quantity.

Tell me how you are doing, the square root of pi, your favorite color, the last time you cried…ANYTHING! I feel like I am being run through a wringer right now and I really need, nee CRAVE, your voices!

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I was taking the elevator today (by the way, I walked the stairs from 1 to 10, two times today! Small victories!), and as the doors were closing a somewhat elderly gentleman, with a cane raced towards me. Being the good doobie that I am, I dove for the "Door Open" button to hold the elevator. The man thanked me and I even asked him on which floor he needed to get off. He said 4 and I dutifully pressed 4 for him as I pressed 10 for me.

He was a tad wobbly and I turned to smile at him. A few short seconds later, we arrived at his floor. The doors popped open and I once again held the "Door Open"  button as he slowly disembarked.

Just as he crossed the threshold, he turned to me to say goodbye. I smiled and said have a great day. He then proceeded to fart. That’s right. Just as the doors began to close, he left me a reminder of his visit.

I think I heard him say, "oops." Nothing else, just "oops." He simply kept walking. Now the doors are closed, trapping the sulphuric gas. I am all alone, choking on the steam rising in my enclosed space. I was just about to pass out from the fog of putridness, when the doors opened at 7.

Much to my dismay and shock, two people joined me on the elevator. Now, it is the three of us with the poison gas still permeating the fibers of my clothes. We all looked straight ahead while the sweat beaded on my forehead and the beautiful woman in front of me swayed.

I got off on 10 and for some reason they stayed on.  As the doors closed behind me, I heard the woman screech out "Holy, sh*t!" and then a ton of laughing as their voices disappeared down the shaft.

I wanted to run down the stairs and meet them as they walked to their car, to tell them it wasn’t me! But I didn’t.

So, I thought I would tell you….IT WASN’T ME!

Question for BoMR: Do you believe me?

uncategorized | 6 Comments »

Now that I am on the mend, I thought it would be a good idea to begin writing again. For both of my readers, you know that I am pretending to be in the process of writing a novel. I have been in a holding pattern for over a year now, but I do return to it from time to time.

One scene that I am having trouble with is a flashback scene where my protagonist is on “lover’s lane” making out with his girlfriend. The setting for this scene is a real place that I have been to on more than one occasion in my history. My lover’s lane was a parking lot along the Charles River and I wanted this scene to take place there.

There is a lot I remember about my glory days along the river. One thing in particular that stands out is that for every one car that had a couple making out in it, there were at least 4 cars filled with creepy old men driving around looking for shadows and foggy windows. If they were lucky enough, they could pull up right next to the couple and linger for a few disturbing seconds until the couple looked up and frantically pulled away, usually with pants still wrapped around ankles.

One day last week, I wanted to commit myself to writing this scene as I have had many false starts and really wanted to get it right. I decided that I would visit lover’s lane late one night and write while parked along the river.

Armed with only a Circa notebook and a fountain pen, I drove to the river around 8PM, after the Baby Goats were asleep. The parking lot is rather large and I positioned myself far from the action, but close enough to find the inspiration I needed. There were only two or three cars parked and I honestly have no idea whether anything interesting was happening in them. Frankly, I did not care. I just wanted to find the inspiration to write….not peep. But then again, I have a feeling that all writers are by definition, a tad voyeuristic.

I began putting words on paper and found myself quickly lost in the world I was creating. In fact, I really felt like this was a good, if a tad awkward, decision to write “on location.” The creative juices were flowing as Coltrane blared in my ears.

I filled about four pages with a scene of a couple of teens awkwardly groping at each other. I found myself smiling, laughing and even becoming melancholic for those innocent days of yore…many yores ago.

I was so engrossed in my words, that I did not notice the state trooper pull up behind me. I was so frantically taking advantage of a moment of inspiration, that I did not notice the trooper getting out of his car and approach my window. I was so in love with what I was creating, that I nearly jumped out of my skin when the trooper tapped his flashlight against my windshield.

“Hey, there is no parking here after sunset.” He bellowed

Rolling down my window and beginning to speak before the window was really opened.

“I am sorry sir. I will move right now.”

“Not so easy.” Officer Friendly said. “What are you doing here?”

I had no idea what to say. “Uh….well, believe it or not, I am writing” I said stupidly.

He told me in no uncertain terms to get out of the car. I did so without hesitation as I really had nothing to worry about. I wasn’t drunk, naked and I TRULY was doing exactly what I told him I was doing.

He asked me a series of questions, clearly designed to check if I was intoxicated or fabricating the story. I explained to him exactly what I am telling you; I was trying to find some inspiration to finish writing a scene in my book.

Once he realized I was serious, he asked me if I would be comfortable showing him what I wrote. I said sure and I opened the notebook on the hood of my car as he shined his spotlight on it. He laughed that my writing was utterly illegible. He proceeded to ask me questions about the book and when I told him that it has to do with growing up in Newton, he began telling me that he grew up in the same neighborhood and he knew many of the people I grew up with. He even relayed a story about the local carnival that I may use in the book.

We must have chatted for over 45 minutes. He even went so far as to say that he always thought someone should write a book about the neighborhood and was surprised no one has done that yet.

I now have his email address and his permission to come back to the river as often as I wanted as long as he was on patrol. I told him thanks but no thanks.

Which brings me to the bigger point. On more than a few occasions while writing this novel, I have found myself needing to be physically located in the scene in order to write about it. I remember driving to four different cafes in the area, trying to find the one that felt like the image in my head. I have driven up and down the streets of my old neighborhood and pulled over at random spots and began writing trying to absorb and then write what I see. I went to South Station in Boston and sat on a bench and watched people come and go. Sometimes, I do not even bring a notebook. It is not that I need to be writing at that exact moment, but it is more that I NEED to use all my senses in order to begin writing. Writing is such a sensory experience for me, that if I just sat in a home office waiting for words to be thought of, I would never think them. But, by immersing myself in the experience, I find inspiration.

Question for BoMR (Both of My Readers): Does any of this make sense WITHOUT creeping you out? 

funny, uncategorized, writing | 10 Comments »

Over the last month, and on a couple of other occasions over the last year and a half, I have been struggling with an extremely painful condition, called pyoderma gangrenosum. As I have already said previously, DO NOT look this up without being forewarned that images are quite graphic (actually there is a picture of me in Google Images also..and that is of my face and that is the most hideous of all!).

During this time, I was essentially immobilized. Confined to bed, where pain was constant, not touched by Ibuprofen, Oxycodone, Percocets or Vicodin. The pain in my leg ranged from local wound pain, to general malaise to outright VIOLENT spasms where my entire leg felt as if it was set aflame. I had to sleep on my back, with my leg practically in a vertical position. This would help a little, except at some point, I needed to put my leg below my heart and the searing pain would begin again as any sign of healing was quickly negated by the curse of gravity.

I could handle the pain, somewhat, but managing the wound itself was an endlessly nasty endeavor that required a TON of dressings that need to be painfully changed a few times per day. Each dressing change lasting more than 20 minutes. On more than one occasion, my doctor wanted to admit me because the problem was only getting worse.

The other problem is having to subject my family to all this. The Baby Goats have seen me at my worst. I know that has caused a lot of stress for them and I have missed out on some big events over the last month.

In case you are missing it, I am using the past tense in my words above. I am on some insane drugs that are essentially trying to reboot my immune system and the wound is virtually healed. I AM OFFICIALLY FEELING MUCH BETTER! Who knows, I am even considering going for a (quick) jog tomorrow morning.

I am writing this post, not to make you sick to your stomach. I do that with my other posts.

During this extremely difficult time, the one constant ray of sunshine that beamed into my days and nights was your well wishes. On more than one occasion, I would receive a perfectly timed comment or email asking if I was OK. I simply want you all to know that those comments and check-ins meant the world to me. I wasn’t dying from this horrible condition, but I certainly wished for it and your words helped me more than you will ever know.

This condition is subsiding now. My leg has yet another scar on it that looks like I sat on a scalding hot radiator. I am being treated rather vigorously with heavy meds but this damned condition can flare up at any point again, in weeks, months or years. But as I sit here, reflecting on the last month, I quite simply need to thank all of you for your kind words and friendship. I am forever stunned at the relationships that can develop while blogging.

I admit to being very selfish. The posts I write are nothing more than a ploy; a ploy to get you to come back.  I write in order to be with you and I write in order to read your words.

Thank you, my friends.

blogging, health, uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Why do they package graham crackers in those useless wax papery wrappers? When you try to open the package, they instantly begin tearing apart the grahams and once opened, there is no ability to reseal the packaging.

With everything today being marketed as Stay-Fresh, Shelf-Stable, Resealable, Individually Wrapped, etc, why are these remnants of 1897, still being packaged that way?

• Do you think it is marketing? Does the homey packaging imply a simpler, more innocent time?
• Do you think it is cost? Do manufacturers save a bajillion dollars per year by wrapping them in wax paper? Then why wrap them at all? They should just throw them in the box.
• Do you think it is to be “green.” But Grahams were around a 100 years before the color green was invented and became the new black.
• Do you think it is a conspiracy to make the lives of a parent more difficult?

Here are the steps involved:

I pop open a box of graham crackers (don’t get me started on that little cardboard tab thingy that was intentionally designed to be weaker than the bond of the glue holding it in place)

1. Tear open the wrapper first with my fingers, then with a knife carefully placed in the fold.
2. Jab myself in the finger with the knife as it slips.
3. Break a few crackers in the process.
4. Be told by my daughter that she doesn’t want a “broked” one….178 times!….ad infinitum…ad nauseum!
5. Pull out the one or two that remain that haven’t been shattered.
6. Run around the pantry to find a creative “parenthack” to keep any more oxygen from hitting the cracker so it doesn’t get EVEN staler because they are already kind of stale to begin with…no matter how fresh they are.
7. Give up and give them an Oreo cookie instead….in the resealable packaging!

Does anyone know a brand that doesn’t come wrapped this way?

funny, imponderable, uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Interesting website, called FelonSpy.

By typing in your address, you will be served with a potentially eye-opening, certainly frightening, map of your street with the names and address of local criminals, both convicted and accused.

There are a bunch of caveats I have for you, before you visit the site:

A. I have ABSOLUTELY no idea about the accuracy of the information. The site claims that it scours numerous databases and public records to create the list. But, I would not take this as an open invitation to lynch your neighbor.

B. This is a VERY pro-gun website. There are advertisements and images of guns, so if those images disturb you, keep it in my mind while surfing.

C. The language is a tad intense, especially on the “Remove Your Name”  category.

D. If you read the FAQ’s closely, you may be dissuaded from using the site at all. It appears that anyone can report ANYONE to be added to this site, without verification!

But I found this site helpful. There are a couple of people within a quarter mile radius of me that are convicted sex offenders. One of these people I already knew about and his name is familiar to me, so the site is at least somewhat accurate.

Question for BoMR: Is the type of information found on these types of sites (I am sure there are many more) useful to you? 

uncategorized | 7 Comments »

I would Google that ONLY if you are brave. That condition, my friends, is what I have been battling for over a year and a half. I am currently in the midst of an excruciatingly painful time in my life. Due to this condition, I am almost unable to stand up and need a cane to walk If you would allow me a chance to explain it, perhaps it will explain the on again, off again, affair I am having with my blog.

About 18 months ago, I had a spot on my leg that would not heal. It was about the size of a nickel. I went to a dermatologist and was immediately diagnosed with a Brown Recluse Spider bite. I was treated with very painful injections once or twice per week. The wound gradually became bigger and grew to the size of a small saucer on my lower left shin. I had it biopsied and had to spray painful concoctions on it, but with little benefit. All the while, this thing grew bigger and the pain almost floored me. It was greater than the pain that comes from a wound. The pain was throughout my leg.

Eventually, it decreased in size and healed, leaving an ugly scar on my shin. I was able to get back on with my life and thought nothing much about it.

But then it happened again….in a different location on the same leg. This all but ruled out the possibility of a spider bite. It was now diagnosed as pyoderma gangrenosum. PG is a rare, painful condition where an ulcer develops usually on the legs. There is no known etiology and no known cure.

This new ulcer was located on the back of my thigh. This made walking almost impossible. I took a 6 week leave of absence from work this past October and laid flat on my back during most of that time. Taking time off from work is one thing, but there is no taking time off from being a dad. My family was somehow patient with me as I buried myself in the attic. But I still needed to function and be a part of their lives….even if with some difficulty.

This would eventually healed using some really heavy immuno-suppressant drugs. Now add a new scar to the back of my thigh.

Additionally, I have made severe dietary restrictions based on what one of my doctors suggested. That is fine, since I have lost 60 pounds…45 pounds now.

So, I went on with my life, feeling like a nightmare was over. Then last week came. I noticed a small bump in my leg and my heart raced as I thought about what was about to happen to me again. This time it was on the right leg, behind my thigh. One week later and I can barely get off my ass as the pain is already too great to handle. The drugs I need to take now include chemotherapy drugs in low doses. I doubt my hair will fall out, but I can tell you that my stomach is doing somersaults. I need to micro-manage the wound care too which includes a TON of tape and gauze and wincing in pain. I need to carefully take showers as the water is painful too.

As I type this, my leg is in incredible pain. I cannot stand and I can barely drive. It begins, again and there is nothing I can do about it.

Amidst all this pain, the world does not stop spinning for me. Work is presenting itself with many projects and deadlines that normally would excite me but are now just frustrating me. At home, I lay here knowing that I need to continue to be there for my father and mother as he deals with MUCH worse than mere pain in the leg. I need to be there for my family as we struggle with myriad crises; some of them serious. We are in the process of moving from the first floor to the second and bringing my parents from the second to the floor. This is a logistical nightmare which is quickly becoming impossible to manage.

I have not told many of you my battles with this blasted disease, because it is both hard to talk about and because it is humiliating and gross. But, I want to share with you what is happening in my life because you are as much my friends as are the people in my real world, In many cases, more so.

It is 2AM, my hands shake as I type in pain. I feel sick to my stomach and want to go into the basement and hack off my leg and I would if I knew it would solve this problem. But then I remember, that my 10 year old has been lying to us about his homework and now we need to spend all of Sunday trying to make up for the last two months of not doing it. I need to call a tree cutter to deal with the two trees that are precariously close to our bedroom window and I need to go to work to try to meet a deadline this week. All this while trying to forget my leg even exists right now.

Sorry to be so maudlin, but I am mad right now at the cards I have been dealt.

health, uncategorized | 18 Comments »

At some point last year, I declared a “memeatorium” and vowed not to do another meme until 2008. Well, here we are in 2008…a lot quicker than I anticipated, and I have a couple of memes to take care of. One from the incomparable Dan. I will get to it, I promise.

But this meme is from Loz.

Early on in my “career” as a blogger, I signed on to BlogCatalog or one of those other “I’ma blog whore” sites. One of the first stops I made in my journey, was this Aussie named Loz. I loved his writing. Up until that point, I belonged to one of those 30 second visit websites, like BlogExplosion and all I did was watch the countdown clock instead of reading. But Loz was different. Here was a guy that was doing what I wished I could do; write something of substance. Every post of his is a heartfelt and sometimes heartbreaking essay. I love it and I am lucky to know Loz. He is a class act. Thank you Loz!

Here is the original Cut-and-Paste from Sueblimely, the originator of this Meme.

I have gained so much more knowledge of blogging than I could possibly have learned just by researching the subject. This is all due to the help, support and encouragement I have received from other bloggers. I have therefore created the ‘Blogging Mentor Award‘ to recognize and thank those who help us on our path to blogging, be it encouraging and helping us to start blogging or helping us to be the best we can, once we have started.

Unlike most awards, it is not necessary to have received it yourself to be able to pass it on to others. It is free for anyone to use; anyone who wishes to say thank you to their own blog mentors. All that I ask is that you include a mention and link to my Blog Mentor Page. This way I can compile lists of those who have been generous enough to give the award and those who have received it, giving them recognition myself by some backlinks

There are two formats to choose from - the graphic or the button:

What prompted me to create the award was reading that January is National Mentoring Month.in the USA. This is an initiative spearheaded by the Harvard Mentoring Project of the Harvard School of Public Health, with the aim of recruiting volunteer mentors to help young people achieve their full potential. The US ‘Thank Your Mentor Day™’ is dedicated to thanking or honoring individuals who have guided us and had a lasting impact on our lives.

Although the Blogging Mentor award is not restricted for use in January’s Mentoring Month, ‘Thank your Mentor Day‘ may be a particularly good time to use it. The date for 2008 is 24th January.

 

So, now comes the part I hate…nominating others that have probably already been tagged. I consider everyone in my blogroll my mentor, but I will nominate 2 of you that have been around since the beginning.

Dan - not me but the real Dan; the Dan that gives all Dans a good name. He is cool, has a beautiful family, has great taste in American baseball teams and mustard, and has that ever-so-adorable accent that makes him sound very smart…until he says the word PUNGENT, which he pronounces “POONGENT.”

Daizie - She continues to be a mentor and an inspiration to me. If my fingers released as many words as hers do, I would be so happy. She can lob an insult my way and make me feel like I deserved it. But all the ribbing is designed to motivate me. Despite the fact that she is not a true Patriot (ie she does not like the New England Patriots), she is still the one I have in the back of my head whenever I sit down to not write.

There are dozens more of you out there. I stalk you, I email you and bother you. But it is because I am insanely jealous of you.

Keep up the great work out there and thank you Lozster!

tagged, uncategorized | 10 Comments »

For anyone interested in an “excuse” to read this winter, you should head over the Karlene at Inksplasher. You can read the specific details of the challenge here. Karlene is hosting an awesome reading challenge which essentially states that you sign up for the challenge and then make a list of books that you propose to read between December 22 and March 19.  This is about 3 months of reading during a normally vacation-free time with as few distractions as possible (children don’t count). Then you post that list on your own blog. You then agree to revisit the list and write and occasional review of the books you’ve read.

As Karlene states, this isn’t about work. If you find yourself bored with a book, you simply cross it off the list and begin another. You can adjust the list larger or smaller as the challenge progresses. You are not accountable for your list. It is up to you to do whatever you wish with it.

There are also prizes associated for participants. Please run over to Karlene’s site to read the rest of the requirements.

This sounds like a great opportunity to get some reading in, share your thoughts with your readers and get some ideas for future readings.

Once I was convinced that boys were “Alloud” into the clubhouse, I jumped on the chance. I would love to see other men join in too. Head on over and sign up.

My Reading List

One of the things that Karlene suggested we do is to go outside your usual genre and try something new. I will do that with my first book. Any of you who me, also know that I DESPISE most self-help books and all that pop psychology stuff. But I was told to read Mending the Broken Bond by Dr Frank Lawlis. So might as well get that one over with.

The second book will be Italian Stories by Josepha Papaleo since I am interested in the Italian story and am trying to write my own version of it. I found out one of the best ways to procrastinate from the act of writing is the read about what others are saying about the topic you are supposed to be writing about. You can always call it “research.”

The third book will be….ummmm….I don’t know yet. I am looking at my shelf (you can see the items from the top three books on my shelf by checking out my profile on GoodReads here. If you have any ideas what you think I should read nex, let me know. I even have a nice Barnes and Noble gift card burning a hole in my wallet.

More to come…

reading, uncategorized | 8 Comments »

[Unfortunately, this is the best of about 9 million pictures that were taken. But after a bottle of wine, I didn't give a rat's rump that they were all blurred]

I will wait here now while you go visit Average Joe Wino. Ryan and Vee write an excellent blog devoted to all things fermented and grapey.

After a few minutes of poking around his blog, you will be as excited as I was. I even went to the local “purveyor of fine liquors and spirits” to buy a few bottles of vino, relax with a funny movie (Hot Fuzz) and pretend I don’t have any Baby Goats for two hours.

Now that I have sampled a bit from three different wines, I can tell you I might soon be arrested for B.W.I (Blogging While Intoxicated).

For those that need to know, this glass of wine is from a bottle of Clos de los Siete 2005 from Mendoza, Argentina. It is a blend of Malbec, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah. I am not really good at picking out hints of gooseberries and rotten plums, but I can say this is a full-bodied wine with some spiciness to it.

At Ryan’s recommendation, I downloaded all the podcasts available from winefornewbies.net and I have already listened to a couple of them…putting me into even more of a mood for wine!

Raise a glass!

uncategorized | 7 Comments »

…or the most narcoleptic!

For the first time ever in the history of the Leone Clan, we were at the table AT THE SAME TIME…ALL 5 OF US! The gods were clearly smiling on us.

We were all beautifully engaged in conversation (which ranged from my questioning if Coco had opposable thumbs because she is completely incapable of holding a “big girl” cup without spilling it and my 10 year old’s explanations of how EVERYTHING is EVERY ONE else’s fault!).

Amidst the verbal flinging of frying pans, we all stopped in mid-step. Nicole lifting her glass without thumbs, Michael threatening to continue debating why he needs to wear a jacket when it is ONLY 31 degrees outside, Libby, also known as YoYo Mama because she is at the fridge for the billionth time this dinner and me, the picture of angelic calm and the patience of Job. We all looked up and saw Marc…SOUND ASLEEP!

Yup…dinner was pizza and a browning apple. Shoot me.

uncategorized | 5 Comments »

This is the position my daughter assumes just before falling asleep. Yes, that is a couch and yes, that is where she falls asleep and yes, we carry her to her bed and yes, she ends up in our bed.

She is sucking her thumb and twirling her hair. On more than one occasion we have had to cut her hair to dislodge her finger.

uncategorized | 10 Comments »

My "Coming Out" Party

Originally uploaded by danleone.

This is me on the day of my first road race in over 6 years. I ran the Race for the Cure in Boston this past weekend.

This is an important time for me as I have recently lost a bajilion pounds and being in running shape just validates the whole tortuous process for me.

The race was only 5K. But there were 9,000,000 runners which makes going fast almost impossible (unless I was in the top 10…not likely).

So please join me in congratulating me on a job well done.

Damn, I am bushy!

Oh, and yes, those two books behind my right ear are Al Franken’s. I apologize to my non-pinko-commie liberal readers….both of you.

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Originally uploaded by danleone.

Here is a look (a yellowish look, but a look nonetheless) at my bathroom at Caesar’s Palace in Vegas. For those missing the point, check out the television!

A television in the bathroom!

How cool is that?!

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World’s Biggest Eyes

Originally uploaded by danleone.

Have you EVER seen eyeballs like this on a human? This is CoCo on her first day of school.

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Her long, straight red hair looked and felt like a blood-soaked dagger being withdrawn from his chest. He has only seen hair this red and this straight in one other place; his dreams. This was beyond a “thing” he had for red hair. This was the very reason for having this “thing” in the first place. Amidst the stacks of books at the Barnes and Noble, there she was; sitting with her legs crossed exactly as she used to cross them; at her ankles. Her posture was ballet-dancer upright and her neck was still as long and pale and utterly visible from every angle as he remembered it. She carried a handbag that revealed money was not an object because it was covered in someone else’s monogram. She was one of those women that knew what “season” she was and everything she wore reflected that. Her earthy browns and oranges could only look good on her transparent skin and flaming hair. She was reading a magazine that revealed nothing about her intellect. He remembered People magazines were neatly placed in the wicker basket next to her couch. She would always be a star-struck child that was as much interested in the latest Hollywood scandal as she was in Mozart. The Marriage of Figaro was her favorite….her favorite anything, and it became his too soon after they met. Whatever was in her head, he wanted to know it too. He read librettos and tried to quote Shakespeare with the same ease as she. He read non-fiction and eventually could spew off the Latin names of birds by merely listening to their calls as they walked through the woods together. All this was done for the woman sitting not twenty feet from him. A woman that he hadn’t seen in fifteen years. All this for the woman that loved someone else.

But fifteen years can and should change a face. The woman he was watching looked exactly like she did when they broke up in anger so long ago. It felt as if this was just a day after their explosive ending. He remembered the intensity, the screaming, the tears as he was being told in a million different ways that it was over. When she turned to leave, he knew that she didn’t mean it. She really loved him but it was clear that she was not going to get out of her situation for at least one of those million reasons. He couldn’t let that happen, but had no choice now. She drove away.

With S.W.A.T-like precision, he weaved around the stacks to get a better view. His heart beating into his throat as he wondered if there were cameras watching his actions. He noticed that she never looked up despite having tried a few times to cough out her name, “Jean!” while pretending to pull a book off the top shelf. She never blinked. But she didn’t look up because her name wasn’t Jean or that she didn’t hear him. No, Jean was always the ice princess. As cool as a frozen cucumber. For those very select few that were allowed into her ice castle, she was a normal human being with glimpses of a giddy child. For the rest of the world, she was the very definition of cold.

He played out the entire meeting in his head. He noticed that she still had her wedding ring on so either she was still married to him or she married someone else soon after their breakup. Whatever the case, this guy might still be in the store. He looked around at the magazine racks and noticed a few potential husbands. Possibly that guy trying to hide the fact, not very well, that he is reading a Playboy magazine. He tucked it facing the wrong way into the wrong section of the racks and turned around. He is pretty enough to be her husband and he definitely looks like she purchases his clothes.

Then, without notice, she stood up, tossing the magazine to the bench and began walking. Perhaps she did see her lurker and she was planning on getting away from her husband to meet in some obscure corner of the store. He was already beginning to think that the science fiction section was a good place to talk without being interruped. If even for a few seconds.

He raced around trying not to lose her. She walked, pretend-browsing style, making eye-contact with only book bindings. He was in the very next row and tried to follow her sound as it moved down the aisle. He rounded the corner and misjudged her proximity because she was rounding the corner at the same time. This was not the way he had dreamt about meeting her. They stood only a couple of feet apart from each other for only a few seconds but it seemed like an hour. Awkwardly, he said, “Jean?” and tried to smile.  She stared some more, tilted her head and without blinking, said, “No.” Nothing else. “Oh, um, sorry,” he said as she walked past him and out of the store…alone.

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I work in  a corporate environment and I know that whatever job one has, it comes with its own language and jargon. Some of those words are necessary and specific to the profession. But what really sets me on edge is when I hear a barrage of business cliches that do nothing to move the conversation forward. My current pet peeve phrase is: “Getting our ducks in a row.” AAAARRRRGH! If I hear that one again, I am going to launch myself out the window!

Here is a repost of a post I wrote last year with even more terms. Remember, the list is based on a real presentation I attended. I was so side-tracked by the cliches that I had no idea what he was talking about.

Those annoying business cliches that people use when they have no idea what they are talking about! I went to a sales meeting in May and from a single presentation, here is what I heard:

“moving the needle”
“move this product through the gates”
“we have sharpened our pencils”
“we have to execute on all levels”
“we have pockets of success”
“we will use this as kind of an eye chart” - I don’t even know what that means!
“demographic or age buckets”
“forward thinking”
“penetrate the distribution and maximize the market”
“sell at the margin-enhanced price”
“the big uptick will be in….”
“everyone needs to be fully sampled”
“this is just a snapshot”
“look at the competive landscape”
“look at the metrics and incentivize…”
“sell the hot bag” - ????!!!!!
“gaining traction”
“going forward”
“as per…”

and my all-time stomach turning favorite, “peeling the onion”

This is from one person during one presentation! Once he started speaking, I completely disregarded the purpose of the presentation and began copying everything down. My hands hurt.

I have been on a rampage at work against those generic, military-inspired cliches since that meeting. So, “as per” my previous post, “going forward” you will never hear me using these phrases!

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Originally uploaded by danleone.

Here we are at Cold Spring Park in Newton. It looks like we are in the woods when the reality is that we are about 20 feet behind home plate at a baseball field. Trust me, my kids wouldn’t know what to do do with real nature.

The Grizzly Adams scruff on my face is my Weekend Warrior look.

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World’s Dumbest Invention

Originally uploaded by danleone.

I was so proud of myself when I lost weight that I went to The Gap yesterday to buy myself a few new pairs of jeans. I found these on the clearance rack and was doubly happy that I got a good deal.

So take a pair of brand new button-flys and then throw 2 liters of water into my bladder and you can see that this is a recipe for disaster. I must have spent 5 minutes trying to unbutton myself. Luckily disaster was avoided…but barely. Now, I have been walking around with only two buttons buttoned….just in case!

On a side note: Check out those gorilla-knuckles!

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…NOT BIRTHDAY! I will be 43 next week.

Today, I have officially lost 60 pounds!

Yay me!

I know I eliminated many of my favorite foods, but that is fine. I have had to make fundamental changes with my relationship with food more for health reasons than simply losing weight.  Many people think that my diet sounds boring…and it is! But, for now, it is so freeing to not have food on my brain 24 hours a day. I no longer eat refined grains, almost all sugars and sweeteners, meat and dairy. I even limit the amount of whole grains due to gluten issues. I predominately eat fruits and vegetables, nuts and other rabbit food. Occasionally, I will have some fish and yogurt.

But I honestly have never felt better. I have suffered from gastic distress, dermatological issues including pyoderma gangrenosum as well as VERY painful  and even more embarrassing cystic acne as an adult. Those have MOSTLY disappeared. There is no medically proven association between food and some of these issues, but if I feel OK for now and am clearly getting all the nutrients I need to stay alive, then who cares if science can prove it? (Listen to the atheist making choices without using science! Hypocrite!). Not to mention that I LOST 60 POUNDS!

I am also running a lot and secretly planning on a Fall marathon this year (shhhh!  Don’t tell anyone!). I even did a12 mile run a couple of weeks ago.

Of course, I know that I could easily fall back into more destructive eating habits again, but I am allowing myself to ride this wave for as long as I can.  It is not a struggle right now and who cares if it is a struggle. That’s life.

Thanks for listening.

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IMG_3549

Originally uploaded by danleone.

They storyboard. This what I have been doing all morning on the kitchen table as the Baby Goats were allowed to eat breakfast in the living room. The pink cards are flashback scenes. I wanted to make sure that while I am not writing my novel, that I do not include too many of these flashbacks.

This is the literary equivalent of Mrs Wiggins in the old Carol Burnett Show when she would come in and spend her morning sharpening the pencils.

Gotta run! I need to rearrange these cards again so I can get back to the task of not writing.

Wish me luck!

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I went to Starbucks this morning. I understand that it is the evil empire, but in Boston the only alternative is Dunkin’ Donuts. I am not about to patronize a company that uses their donuts as a coffee filter (that is what the coffee tastes like to me). Besides, I really am off the coffee for now so all I drink is an occasional shot of espresso. For those who don’t know, an espresso is about 1.5 ounces of liquid gold. It is heaven in a cup. It also forms the basis of ALL their fancy coffee drinks.

I stepped up to the multi-pierced cashier and ordered a “For Here Doppio.” Doppio is Italian for double.  I wanted a 3 ounce coffee orgasm. The multi-pierced cashier squeaked the order to the multi-tattooed barista and in 3 minutes I was presented with the requested 3 ounces of velvety-love BUT IN A LARGE MUG! They “ran out” of demi-tasses! The store was opened 15 minutes ago! Why are you out of demi-tasses? That would be like McDonald’s running out of hamburgers. “Sorry, Sir, I gave you a McFish sandwich made with nothing that was ever a fish because we ran out of hamburgers!” But instead of McDonald’s price of a nickle for the sandwich, a double shot of silken magic costs about $493!

To put an espresso (smooth death) in a large mug is the equivalent of drinking the finest champagne from a Nalgene water bottle. The espresso (creamy hugs) in a large cup means that it will be cold in 3 seconds and the ever-so-delicate crema that forms on the top is broken and sloshing around like sea foam in a fetid tide pool. If I went to a fine restaurant and ordered a cheesecake and they threw it into the blender, and gave it to me in a tall glass with a straw and said: “Sorry, we are out of plates”, it would be the EXACT SAME THING!

Now, under no circumstances did I complain to the woman. I NEVER complain to service people. I have had MANY service jobs in my life and unless she spit in my coffee,  she can do no wrong. BUT what I did do was write a kind note to the district manager in hopes that they understand that an imperfect espresso (black manna) can only lead to imperfect EVERY OTHER DRINK ON THEIR MENU!

I am ashamed that I wasted both of you valuable times with the rant.

Question for both of you: Tell me something that will trip your trigger (make me feel good by keeping it trivial)

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IMG_3498

Originally uploaded by danleone.

Nicole (aka CoCo) is 4 on Tuesday! We had her party yesterday and she was completely psychotic.

What ever happened to the pea-soup vomiting, head-spinning baby I remember? Oh right, she became a pea-soup vomiting, head-spinning 4 year old.

Happy birthday bug-eyes!

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Originally uploaded by