Yesterday, she underwent her surgery and though we still don’t know the status of her and her dad’s condition, she did leave us a post for today.

Please stop by http://territerri.wordpress.com/ and wish her well. She totally can use the addition of the two extra hits from my site.

Terri is one of the sweetest souls on the internet tubes. We are so lucky to read her words. She shares her spiritual struggles as well as the day to day challenges of being a working mom and wife. Every word of hers bleeds sincerity, sweetness (I bet she doesn’t like that fact) and depth. I have stalked followed her for a couple of years and feel intimately vested in her journey.

When many of us would not even have shown up on game day, Terri has stepped up to the plate, and leaned in, and hit one out of the ball park.

I love you Terri and wish you and your family the best of health.

This post is no different. It is a post about not writing.

I have put down my book recently (did you notice “T”, that I didn’t put quotes around that word this time?). I feel justified in doing so. With all the various stresses in my life and the fact that my dad is a very sick man, I felt that I could not commit myself to write a novel about a man who loses his father. It was simply too painful for me to deal with.

The book hits too close to home.

Over the last few months, I have been doing a lot of procrastinating, more like avoiding my blog and my book. I have poked around and wasted a ton of time on Plurk (that won’t stop!) and found the act of writing greater than 140 characters to be simply more than I can handle at this time in my life.

But, recent events, have made me revisit my book and the story I am hoping to convey. I hope to go into those reasons as soon as I can wrap my head around them.

In the meantime, just know that I will try to update more often and hopefully regain some of my readership that have since jumped ship due to utter boredom.

My words may range from the utter mundane (my kid picked his nose type stuff) to painfully maudlin to sincere expression of the anguish I have been feeling recently.

Whatever the case, look for more of me on your blogs and I hope you will find mine again.

Thank you!

20.    You proudly post about which demented, pornological, scatological and downright frightening terms people used last month to arrive at your site.
19.    Every few weeks, you have at least one post about why you haven’t posted in the last few weeks….and feel genuine remorse that perhaps you let your readers down.
18.    You blog about blogging
17.    Your meme collection outnumber your everyday posts
16.    You have no one left to tag that hasn’t already been tagged a thousand times before but you tag them anyway.
15.    You do the “Drive-By Hi” on cre8buzz.
14.    Blogging comments begin to replace emails as a way to communicate with anyone that really matters.
13.    You accept “Be my friend” invites on BlogCatalog from people in countries that don’t exist in the CIA Wold Factbook
12.    When you write a post, a particularly good one, you immediately work your way through your blogroll “pinging” all your friends with mediocre comments like “Great Post” or “Nice Blog!” or “Funny!”
11.    You strategically let the good posts linger for a few days, as well as push the mediocre ones “below the fold.”
10.    No one in your 3D world even knows what a blog is, let alone know that you have one.
9.      You don’t buy into it, and even feel a little cheated, when someone comments with “Great Post!” or “Nice Blog! or “Funny!”
8.      You secretly wish that your kids will fall down, throw up, say something stupid, or otherwise do something crazy, just so you can blog about it.
7.      You read blogs in order to get your daily news and you watch the news in order to blog about it.
6.      You know the difference between CSS and RSS.
5.      You purge comment spam faster than you weed your garden.
4.      You hit “Refresh” on your emails within 5 minutes of posting, “just in case.”
3.      You take advantage of your midnight pee break to see if you received any comments because you know your European counterparts are already awake.
2.       You struggle with the camera timer so you can photograph yourself in an insightful, but oh so candid,  pose in order to create THE BEST AVATAR EVER…all 100X100 pixels of it.

…and the number 1 way to tell that blogging has become a huge part of your life…..

1.        You write a “You know you are a blogaholic when…” post.

During this time, I was essentially immobilized. Confined to bed, where pain was constant, not touched by Ibuprofen, Oxycodone, Percocets or Vicodin. The pain in my leg ranged from local wound pain, to general malaise to outright VIOLENT spasms where my entire leg felt as if it was set aflame. I had to sleep on my back, with my leg practically in a vertical position. This would help a little, except at some point, I needed to put my leg below my heart and the searing pain would begin again as any sign of healing was quickly negated by the curse of gravity.

I could handle the pain, somewhat, but managing the wound itself was an endlessly nasty endeavor that required a TON of dressings that need to be painfully changed a few times per day. Each dressing change lasting more than 20 minutes. On more than one occasion, my doctor wanted to admit me because the problem was only getting worse.

The other problem is having to subject my family to all this. The Baby Goats have seen me at my worst. I know that has caused a lot of stress for them and I have missed out on some big events over the last month.

In case you are missing it, I am using the past tense in my words above. I am on some insane drugs that are essentially trying to reboot my immune system and the wound is virtually healed. I AM OFFICIALLY FEELING MUCH BETTER! Who knows, I am even considering going for a (quick) jog tomorrow morning.

I am writing this post, not to make you sick to your stomach. I do that with my other posts.

During this extremely difficult time, the one constant ray of sunshine that beamed into my days and nights was your well wishes. On more than one occasion, I would receive a perfectly timed comment or email asking if I was OK. I simply want you all to know that those comments and check-ins meant the world to me. I wasn’t dying from this horrible condition, but I certainly wished for it and your words helped me more than you will ever know.

This condition is subsiding now. My leg has yet another scar on it that looks like I sat on a scalding hot radiator. I am being treated rather vigorously with heavy meds but this damned condition can flare up at any point again, in weeks, months or years. But as I sit here, reflecting on the last month, I quite simply need to thank all of you for your kind words and friendship. I am forever stunned at the relationships that can develop while blogging.

I admit to being very selfish. The posts I write are nothing more than a ploy; a ploy to get you to come back.  I write in order to be with you and I write in order to read your words.

Thank you, my friends.

For example, I have an alert set up for various news items I am interested in, such as atheism, politics, Getting Things Done, etc. I set the options to email me those daily.

But more interestingly, I have Alerts set up for my blog.  By typing in this: link:http://www.cafeleone.net/ and link:http://cafeleone.net/, I can see who links to me as soon as they do. I set it to email me as soon as it happens. This is an excellent way to see who is talking about me and I believe it works faster and more accurately than WordPress or Technorati or whatever other method you use. I can see instantly when someone throws a meme my way but hasn’t alerted me to it yet or when someone adds me to their blogroll…still waiting on that one.

As a safety precaution, I have an alert set up for my kids, my social security number and even my street address. It is not because I am paranoid. It is simply because I am curious. I did get an alert about a site that had my street address. It turns out it was my street address in a completely different state, but that was interesting nonetheless.

Click on the link above and start getting your Google Alerts.

Temper tantrum – I can take that off my todo list.

Stay tuned for my latest and greatest post: My 5th grader is not smarter than a 5th grader.

In the meantime, look over to the right and click on anyone else in my blogroll. These people are more eloquent, funnier, entertaining, smarter and more huggable than I will ever be. They all cast giant shadows and all I can do is bask in their coolness.

By the way, this is gross, but I just noticed that my hands still smell like the Nuclear Meltdown Buffalo Wings I ate last night during the Pats game; despite having washed my hands 8 billion times. So much for being a vegan! But if God really wanted us to be vegetarian, he wouldn’t have put wings on those poor buffaloes!  ->Even if you are not laughing at that, I am! Sometimes I surprise myself.

There are a couple of small rituals that I have managed to include in my life over the past few years. One of them, as you know is that NYT Crossword Puzzle. I typically wake up before the rest of the Leone clan does. I will  crank out today’s puzzle plus one archived puzzle. This keeps my brain flexible and keeps me humble because I almost never get through Thursday’s puzzle without help from my little friend, Google.

The other ritual is that I use Google Reader to read a list of what I categorize as “My Daily Reads.” I have approximately 30 blogs that I can’t live without (don’t worry, I count both of you as among my most important). These blogs range in scope from the light-hearted, to Mommy and Daddy blogs, to Pinko-Commie Left Wing Propaganda, to some work relevant blogs, to harcore scientific, skepticism and atheist blogs). These blogs, your blogs, are as important to me as the books on my shelves. Everyday I laugh, I think, I learn and sometimes I bleed tears. What I especially love is that most of you don’t make a dime from your efforts. You have no stake in this other than a sincere desire to share yourselves with tens, hundreds or possibly even thousands of readers that share your corner of the internet. I love that! I sometimes feel like I write just to be included in your worlds.

As you can see, I am really good at making a short story, long. As all I wanted to say here was that I just checked this morning and noticed that in “My Daily Reads” I have 116 unread posts! I feel like I am missing something in life if I even go one day without reading your words and now I have 116 posts I have to catch up on.

Doesn’t it suck when life gets in the way of living?

There is so much happening in all our worlds and my world is no exception. I try to deal with the day-to-day stuff to the best of my ability but I still need to RSVP to a Boston College alumni dinner invitation, make copies of my son’s progress report, write a letter to his teacher, deal with my dad’s terminal illness as he slips further away from us every day, get estimates on cutting down a tree that is dangerously close to my neighbor’s bedroom window, console my mom as she becomes a patient herself, research health insurance options for my mom as she decides to leave her job, fight a traffic ticket, fix my son’s laptop, make my home network a little more robust, fix the bathroom faucet that has now dripped to a continuous stream, work on not over-reacting when the Baby Goats are busy being Baby Goats, hang photos that are still un-hung after 6 years, find a lawyer and an accountant to look over my parent’s finances, cancel my barber’s appt for Thursday because I am volunteering at a PBS telethon, call my doctor for some blood test results I had drawn two weeks ago, determine a Christmas budget and SHOP for a holiday I have NO belief in! Phew!

As bloggers, there are at least a few different “responsibilities” we have taken on. We need to:

1. Come up with relevant content for our own blog
2. Design our blog and maintain it
3. Join and actively participate in various communities of bloggers
4. Read other’s blogs for our own pleasure as well as to get ideas for our own blogs
5. Grace other’s blogs with a thoughtful comment

I am a stuck at Step 1. Please allow me some time to come up with creative ways to sweep my list of stuff to do under the rug. Once that is done, I will work on making my world interesting enough to justify your precious time visiting and in the meantime, I will sneak into Google Reader to catch up on what all you REAL writers are up to!

Question for Both of My Readers (BoMR): HOW THE EFF DO YOU GUYS DO IT?!

Of course, there is no reason to defend myself to this person as 13 other commenters, and these are people whose opinion actually matters to me, didn’t have a problem with the post. 1/14 are odds I can live with. I will sleep comfortably tonight.

In the big picture, I love this comment and I wish this person left a link to his website, because I would love for all of you to pay him a visit and say Hi. I would.

So, in my “black and white” way, I wanted to ask you:

A. Do you allow ALL comments to your posts?

B. How does a negative comment make you feel?

Wow thats a very ignorant post. I cant believe you feel comfortable showing people how closed minded and uninformed you are.

I guess you just see names of stuff and dont even look into the substance, thats why you dont know the difference between things. whats the difference between you and a moron?

K-Fed-Justin Timberlake? Hello! K-Fed is a leech who just used britney to get money and try to get famous off her fame. Hes a no talent wannabe rapper!

Justin is a talented singer, dancer and composer who has his own money and doesnt have to use chicks to get ahead. justin timberlake has A JOB! DUH!

Angie Harmon/Mariska Hargitay? Two different people. Mariska is a phenomenal actress. Angie is a great actress too but she has nothing on Mariska. Mariska has a glowing spirit that Angie cant really match. I have nothing against Angie but Im partial to Mariska.

Law & Order SVU/Law & Order CI! The difference..seriously you must have never seen the show or only seen it once. SVU is one of the top rated shows, its been on for like 9 seasons! Criminal Intent, not even close! Mariska won an Emmy! and a Golden Globe! SVU is actually a good show with a steady cast. Criminal Intent sux and they cant make up their mind who they want on it!

Copyright is used to protect your body of work or artistry. Trademark is just for a name or logo.

Prison is where you go once youre convicted..youll be there for a long long time. Jail, you could be in there overnight. When you get arrested they throw you in jail before the trial even starts.

Hilary Duff/Lindsay Lohan??? Lindsay Lohan is a damn crackhead!

cleanser could be anything! it could be a pad to clean your pores or something..soap is SOAP! sudsy soap!

Psychopath is just fuckin crazy! They snap and do some crazy shit..cuz the voices in their head told them to do it! Sociopath is a person who has no real feelings or remorse. they dont even understand the concept. they do what gratifies them with no regard for other peoples feelings or the consequence. Im sure the two can go hand in hand but theres a difference.

Carpet is like PINNED down to the floor. a rug you just lay on the floor and u can pick it right back up

Jelly is disgusting jelly fake shit thats not even made of real fruit. jam spreads on the bread smooth and actually tastes good and has fruit in it.

A butterfly is beautiful, a moth is a damn brown dusty moth

Sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone, Empathy is when you can feel what theyre feeling..relate to their emotion.

I can go on for days but i pointed out the ones that annoyed me the most.

City is a whole city, a town can be within a city.

Bacteria is what CAUSES viruses

Hogs have horns

Hotel is a place where respectable people might stay. A motel is a NOTEL, notel nobody you stay there.
its really sad how black and white your world is

When I tell the people in my “real” life that I have a blog, I typically get dismissed and an occasional “You must have too much time on your hands.”

When I hear this, I usually dismiss them back (re-dismiss). But deep down inside me, I am thinking “There isn’t enough time in a day to share stories with all of you!” I crave reading your words and I love sharing my nonsense with both of you.

Just a couple of years ago, I asked my then 4 year old son what he wanted to be when he grew up. He looked up at me and without missing a beat said: “a caterpillar.” How precious was that?! I immediately posted his comment on the blog. Well, as I am approaching a dry spell in my posts (aka drier spell), I went up to Marc for more words of wisdom. I asked him to say something funny….JUST so I could record it in my blog! As you can see, I must be in a LOT of trouble if I am shaping my world to fit my blog!

By the way, his reply to me was “water bottle.” I won’t be posting about that.

 Once again, thanks for being both of you!

What is interesting about writing is that you cannot see the time span from the last sentence to this one I am typing now. It has been exactly 14 minutes since I told you I was happy that the creative juices were flowing. 14 damn minutes of sitting here with fingers poised eagerly awaiting the words to spill forth out of my fingertips and onto the screen. I still got nothing.

Now what? Does this exercise of just writing anything down and letting the muse take over and watch as she (the muse’s name is Sally) coaxes letters into words, words into coherent sentences, sentences into paragraphs and paragraphs into a post worth reading? Guess what? I got nothing.

I could just go into my very extensive archive and grab one of the two posts that I am actually proud of and just repost them. But then I would no longer be writing. I would be cutting and pasting. So, I sit here and I still got nothing.

But,  4 paragraphs later, I still haven’t come up with a cogent thought. Sometimes I think that this is what separates the real writers like both of you from the poseurs.  The act of typing is no closer to writing than the act of vomiting is. Whether the vomitus spews forth from my mouth or from the tips of my fingers is no different. All this talk of projectile vomiting and I still got nothing.

I could just ask both of you a question instead and revel in your words of wisdom. To non-writers like me, hearing how you shape your words into juicy, bite-sized morsels of art, makes my mouth water. It also makes what is left of my self-esteem fade to black.  Don’t worry about me, there has to be some vanity that comes with blogging. If you really think about it. I mean a blog is an online journal. If it ended there, then that would be fine. We would all have our computers to type our “Dear Diary’s” into. But that is not where it ends. With blogging, we take those words, those words that in the old days we used to protect with one of those little, itsy-bitsy keys, and proudly display them for hundreds of people a day. “Dear Diary: Today I farted.” Press PUBLISH. “Dear Diary: I wonder if Dorothy really likes me.” SUBMIT. “Dear Diary: Am I REALLY the only guy with a diary?” POST.  Now what? I got lots of sentences, but I still got nothing to chew on. Sentence vs Substance.

So, to make a very short story long: I have written about writing; actually, I have not-written about not-writing…again. I can only come up with one conclusion….I got nothing. As my dearest newest blog-charmer, Lyssa, says: “I’m officially out of material. The well has run dry.” Whereas she has what real writers call “Writer’s Block,” I have what Non-Writers call “A Dose of Reality.”

Go visit some real writing here, here, here and here.