Living with Pyoderma, You Are Courageous

Posted by danleone on July 18th, 2012 filed in Chronic Illness, pyoderma gangrenosum/health

That title is a statement of fact. If you are living with PG (or any other chronic condition for that matter), you are already courageous in my book.  Though I find articles that begin with a dictionary definition and then expand on it to be bad form, I think it is a worthy exercise to define “courage.”  I feel there is a tendency for people to believe that courage is the DECISION to put oneself in harm’s way without fear.  For example, let’s say I was  walking down the street and smell smoke and notice a house  on fire;  flames shooting out of a second floor window. I then notice a child in an adjacent window pounding on the glass.  Pleading panic in her eyes. At that very moment, I have a choice; to be courageous and run into the burning building in an attempt to extricate the child or I guess I could just scream up to her and say “THE FIRE DEPARTMENT IS COMING! HANG IN THERE!”

This isn’t a discussion of the morals of running into burning buildings, but I believe we can all agree that a decision to attempt the rescue is an act of courage.  My point now becomes, what happens when you are not given such a binary choice? What happens when you don’t even perceive a choice? What happens when the fire that burns is inside you.

Living with a chronic condition is not a choice. Pain, discomfort, anxiety become us.  We often feel helpless, hopeless, weak, dependent and vulnerable. How can there even be room left in us for courage? We also know that every human experiences the above emotions active ingredient in semenax but semenax sperm pills to varying degree. So, how do we even know if one courage is greater than the other?

My contention is that in addition to the obvious example of bravery above, courage is the quality of mind that allows you to face both external OR INTERNAL events without letting fear stop you. Notice I didn’t say “without fear?” As anyone living with a chronic illness can attest, fear is a normal part of our existence. We fear pain, our future, our impact on our families and even our very existence. We fear becoming dependent or becoming less than human.

If you wake up every morning and can swing your legs to the floor knowing that it will cause searing pain; if you can change your dressings knowing that it will be ugly and time-consuming and painful; if you can mobilize yourself at the first sign of a flare despite fear of the unknown; if you can research and become more knowledgeable than even your doctors; if you can seek alternative modalities despite what the so-called experts say; if you can educate others (if they are interested) in this condition; if you can find the energy to support others with PG; if you can even remember to take your medicine; then you, my friend, are not only courageous, you are my hero.

(As is often the case with my early morning writing, I am not going to spend much time proof-reading this post. The more I let it linger, the less than chance that it will ever be posted. I would rather just let it live exactly as I’ve written it. Please forgive any typos, or incoherent thoughts)

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2 Responses to “Living with Pyoderma, You Are Courageous”

  1. LisaGay Says:

    Hi Dan, I just finished going through the PG section of your blog. I can’t tell you how it felt to find it. I have searched before, trying to find some kind of support group or connection with anyone who knows what this is like, and hadn’t found anything. I just returned from the wound care clinic and was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I had been complaining to my partner that I couldn’t seem to find much information or even other people. She did a search just trying to be helpful and there you were. It was kind of wierd, but good. I don’t suppose there’s much point to this other than to say thank you for writing about your experiences, I don’t feel so alone now.

    Lisa

  2. Clair Hoyt Says:

    This is a wonderfully written post, Dan. Thank you! Only PG sufferers can relate to the anxiety and fear we experience at the first site of a flare up. I’ve been lucky this time around with only two spots open, one very tiny and one on an existing scar so the pain in minimal. But the anxiety is HUGE!

    Clair

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