Cold Hands

Posted by danleone on December 5th, 2008 filed in my father

My father, Donato Leone, passed away at 9:45 this morning. He was surrounded by those who love him. There is no way I can say he died peacefully, but his death certainly brought peace and ended his struggle. He remains my hero but he now shares that spot with my mother. 13 months ago, she promised him that he would die at home, under her care, with his dignity intact. Today, as the hearse pulled out of our driveway, my mother composed herself and said: “I did what I promised, Donato. I am so proud of myself.”

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24 Responses to “Cold Hands”

  1. topsurf Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 3:25 pm

    I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. I am sending all my thoughts and prayers your way and to your family as well.

    topsurf’s last blog post..Growing Pains

  2. Kat Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Dan, I am humbled by your family – thank you so much for sharing such beautifully intimate details with us. You all remain in my thoughts and prayers, I send my love to all of you.

    Kat’s last blog post..Undeserved blessings…

  3. tinyshrimp Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    I’m so sorry for your families loss.

  4. The Hurricane Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    Dan,
    I am truly sorry. He is at peace. Your mother has peace. May you find peace.

    I’m so sorry.
    Laurie

    The Hurricane’s last blog post..Car Shopping: Part I, You’re Beautiful

  5. Rebecca Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    Great big hugs to you.
    *wipes eyes*

    Rebecca’s last blog post..Fire vs. Police: Can’t we all just get along?

  6. perpstu Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    I’m so sorry Dan. I’m glad your mother was able to give him the chance to go under his terms. My prayers are with you and your family.

    (((HUGS)))

  7. paisley Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    alas he has been given the opportunity to live in peace with the body he had been given… these last few months have been trying times.. for all of you ,,, but especially for him… imagine his immense joy when he “woke” up this monring and realised,, the train had at last pulled into the station….

    my heart goes out to you and i know that grief has its own very powerful place in life… dont deny it,, let it live,, as it to will eventually pass away…

    death is only scary because we don’t know how to live with it… accept it as the gift that made him whole again…

    we love you dan… and your mom has much reason to be proud….

    now would be the time to tell us the story of your father… tell us about him,,, who he was where he came from and how he came to be the man you loved so much…..

    xxxxxxoooooo

  8. Maggie's Mind Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that you find some peace knowing that the suffering has finally come to an end and that you can truly grieve instead of just waiting for it to happen, but it’s still a terribly sad end to a terribly long chapter. Hugs to you and your family. Your mom sounds incredible. Grief seems to be different for everyone, so please grieve in whatever ways feel right to you and just be gentle with yourself, OK? My heart hurts for you, and I hope that someday your thoughts of your dad will turn first to when he was well and not first to how he was with ALS. It took me a few years, but finally, it happened.

    Maggie’s Mind’s last blog post..Goodbye(hai)-ku

  9. terri Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    Dan, I am so very, very sorry. My heart aches for you, your mom and your entire family. Know that you will be in my thoughts during the difficult days ahead.

    terri’s last blog post..Life is Good – December 5, 2008

  10. PG Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Dan,

    Deepest of sympaties. My words can not express how sorry I am for your loss. Your words however, have honored the man well. Your love for him shined though the darkest of hours you graciously shared with us.

    May you, and all around you, find peace in time.

    You and your entire family willbe in my prayers.

  11. Sue Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 9:11 pm

    I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Sue’s last blog post..Luke Likes to Stretch Out Too

  12. Chuck Says:
    December 5th, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Dan,

    I’m very sorry for the loss to the whole Leone family. You are a very strong bunch, you Leone’s. Thank you for allowing us to experience some of this with and through you.

    May he rest peacefully.

  13. Ruprecht Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 2:15 am

    Dan:

    We’ve never met in real life. But I’ve read your words and been touched by your thoughts in many places.

    We have a common bond in our fathers. And now, that kinship is a bit closer. Both of ours are gone. May they rest in peace.

    I grieve for you Dan. I know what is going through your mind, how you feel and the utter powerlessness your experiencing right now. I’ve been there.

    My most profound sympathies for your loss. My sincerest thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and your friends at this time of sorrow.

    Though not in flesh, I’m right there with you, brother …..

    Michael / Ruprecht

    Ruprecht’s last blog post..Bird Is The Word

  14. Dan Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 5:12 am

    My thoughts are with you Dan.

    Dan’s last blog post..Advent Colander – Dec 5th

  15. michelle Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 9:07 am

    I don’t know how to express my sadness over what your family has gone thru. Reading your blog has given me some insight, but has also managed to stifle any words that may have snuck thru. I am so sorry for your loss.

  16. Lilacspecs Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 10:39 am

    Dan,
    I’m sorry for your loss but I’m happy that your father is no longer suffering. All of my best to you and your family while you’re all dealing with this difficult time. You have my e-mail if you need it.

    Lilacspecs’s last blog post..Zwarte Piet

  17. celticbuffy Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 11:08 am

    My sympathies to you and your family, Dan. No pithy words from me, just empathizing with the emotions that you and family are dealing with.

    celticbuffy’s last blog post..Creativity? What’s That?

  18. Rosa Tempesta Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    Nearly a half century ago there was a group of strong, adventurous people that immigrated here from across the ocean, making the sacrafice of leaving their own families to make a better life for their own children. My sister and I talk a lot about that group of people, the “San Donatese.” The men from that group were the sweetest, smartest, funniest men we ever met. With the best sense of humor and love for life, there was nothing broken that they couldn’t fix. Normally they wouldn’t hurt a fly, but mess with their family and they would tear your head off!

    Your father was one of the few gentlemen left of that group. This is evident in the beautiful words your father wrote…I guess you didn’t know that you got your writing talent from him.

    I respect your beliefs but I can’t help to believe that he is now on the other side sitting around the table drinking vino and playing scopa with my dad and all these other beautiful men that were there to greet him.

    I am so happy that you have a beautiful wife and kids that love you. They will be your strength in those sad, quiet moments.

    Love
    Rosa

  19. cajunvegan Says:
    December 6th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

    Dan,

    May your loving memories comfort you and your family at this time. Peace be with you and yours.

    cajunvegan

    cajunvegan’s last blog post..Brought to You by the Number 10

  20. Kristina Says:
    December 7th, 2008 at 1:16 pm

    Thinking of you today, Dan.

  21. Missives From Suburbia Says:
    December 7th, 2008 at 9:26 pm

    I always knew there were more than two of us reading.

    My deepest apologies. I’d hug you if I could, m’dear.

    deb

    Missives From Suburbia’s last blog post..There Are Probably Laws

  22. Marissa Says:
    December 8th, 2008 at 9:03 am

    I can’t find words, even today, that can fully tell you how much my heart aches in your grief.
    Much love, my friend.

    Marissa’s last blog post..Psycho much?

  23. Kathy Says:
    December 8th, 2008 at 9:10 am

    I’m sorry Dan. Nothing said ever makes it any easier. I think you were as much your father’s hero as he was yours. I’m glad you made it home in time, and I bet he was too. My heart to yours my friend. I hope you, and your family can find peace.

  24. bronsont Says:
    December 8th, 2008 at 10:18 am

    That is what love is all about, thank God he had her love and support through his journey.

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