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Archive for May, 2008

Good company is more important than good wine.

Posted by danleone on May 23rd, 2008

I raced home from work tonight. It just might be the first night where I don’t have to drive someone to baseball practice or karate or the myriad other events that normally dot our evening.

Work has been leaving me numb lately and it is all I can do to work less than a 10 hour day. Too many projects, deadlines and fires to put out. You have all heard me whine about that ad nauseum.

The only thing on my mind on the drive home was a bottle of MacMurray Ranch Pinot Noir sitting in my cellar with my name on it. I could even picture on which shelf it was sitting. I knew exactly where I wanted to enjoy this wine; outside on the picnic table, under the grape arbor. This just might be my favorite place on Earth. Despite living in the city, with buses passing the front of my house every 12 minutes, under this arbor and I am instantly transported to the little village my dad comes from in Italy.

I didn’t even go into my house. I just went into the wine cellar and pulled out my wine. I brought it out to the picnic table and called my father to join me.

As you know, my father is battling Lou Gehrig’s disease. He can no longer speak except in a very thick, gravelly voice filled with mostly grunts and lots of guessing by his family. Even the shadow he casts has changed as this horrible disease takes over his once powerful body.

I told him to bring down a glass for himself and to join me. He came out with a plastic cup and I laughed. I poured him a glass and he eyeballed the 18.99 sticker still on the bottle. He smiled at me while at the same time shrugging his shoulders signaling his disbelief that a wine can cost so much.

Because of his disease, when my father drinks thin liquids, like wine, we have to be prepared for the reality that the liquid will move faster than his mouth can process it and he may sputter. This is a cause of enormous embarrassment for him and stress for us as we hold our breath.

I was busy swirling and sniffing while he dumped the wine into his mouth ungraciously. I saw him shut his eyes as I assumed he was merely trying to work his swallow muscles. But when he finally did swallow, his face turned to a grimace. He shook his head as if he just drank some vinegar and we laughed.

Here was a man who spent his whole life drinking only his homemade wine. He is no longer able to make it himself and I have begun stocking the cantina with bottles I purchased. Every single wine I have shared with him, caused the same reaction.

Once he got over the initial taste of the wine, we sat there, under the arbor with fresh shoots that will grow so thickly this summer that it will keep us dry when it rains. We were together, without saying a word, sipping the wine. I was no longer looking for those damned “cherries, spice and hints of vanilla” that the wine-maker tried to convince me were in there. Now, it was simply about being together; father and son, with never much to say to each other even when he had his voice. But the silence, the wine, the picnic table, the beautiful spring weather and the good company all combined to make my stresses slip away; even if for just a brief moment in time.

As the sun popped behind the thickening clouds, my father stood up and looked at the grape vines and held a fresh shoot in his hands. He tapped me on the shoulder and began speaking as if he had something very important to say. I could not honestly say that I understood everything but it was extremely clear to me that he was telling me how to prune the vines in the fall. I looked at him in the eye and told him that I am such a city boy that he will need to show me again in the fall. He smiled and lifted his hand and gave me a thumbs down.

My Wine Cellar and a Thank You

Posted by danleone on May 18th, 2008

(click on image to enlarge)

I know it is a little rough around the edges; most of what my dad builds is. Collecting wine, is quickly becoming an obsession. The room you see in the picture is actually part of the cantina that my dad built over 30 years ago. It was one of the first things he did when he bought this house.

This cantina would house no less than 25 gallons of homemade wine every year. As you know, last year my father was diagnosed with ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease and has since stopped making wine. He lives upstairs from me and we cannot escape the gradual decline of his health. This collection is just one way that I have come up with to help me deal with the stresses in my life. My dad is an amazing man I honestly am not handling his disease well at all. I feel like I can fall apart at a moment’s notice. Luckily, I have my baby goats to remind me that I cannot shut down and crawl into a hole.

I confiscated a few shelves and have amassed a small collection of about 70 bottles. I am still in a very academic and discovery phase. I read other’s blogs religiously and devour their reviews. I then text message the wines to myself so that I have a mini-wishlist going at all times. I read about different varietals and wine-growing regions. I allow myself to be guided by what I am “supposed” to like first and then what I actually like as my taste buds develop.

I would be honored if you take a look at my collection, my hobby du jour. You can view a reasonably updated inventory by visiting my profile here on CellarTracker.

Let me know what some of your favorite wines are. I would love to hear your recommendations.

I have always considered blogging to be a very self-indulgent exercise and my recent pity party is proof of that. But I have also realized that my blogging world is as much about my relationships, very real and vital relationships that I have developed with all of you. When I wasn’t writing, many of you would still take the time to shoot me a brief email making sure all was well. I cannot begin to tell you how important that has been for me.

I think I am back on track. I have some real ideas for blog posts and I am aching to read your words again. Thanks to all of you, my dear friends.

Dan

Imponderable #96

Posted by danleone on May 18th, 2008

Do they REALLY make “cans of worms?”

I can only assume that these would be used for fishing but how long do worms live in a can? So, if I fished, and I walked into my local Fishing-R-Us, could I buy a can of worms? Are there different price ranges for different quality of worm? What makes one type of worm better than another?

How do you spell trouble?…C.O.C.O!

Posted by danleone on May 17th, 2008

Need I say more?

Pity party is over….for now!

Posted by danleone on May 11th, 2008

You may not have noticed, but I haven’t been “around” the internets for a while; I certainly haven’t been blogging about it. Other than a few random tweets on Twitter (I would be honored if you would follow me here), there really hasn’t been much happening to the Virtual Dan.

You see, the 3D Dan has usurped time and energy from the Virtual Dan. Therein lies my biggest problem: Life gets in the way of living.

I am not so selfish as to assume my life is any more stressful than yours. But I am bold enough to tell you that I am not doing a good job of managing that stress. I have always prided myself on how well I can handle stress. I was an EMT for a while and I even took the Air Traffic Controllers exam ( a million years ago) when I realized that being a pilot would take a LOT of money. I loved stress and crisises crisiums crises.

Things are different now. The stress is no longer an adrenaline rush. This stress is a pervasive thread that weaves itself into each cell in my body. This stress has now been so internalized that I know there is a physiological price to pay.

Here is a brief rundown of some of the things on my plate.

My health: My leg has healed leaving yet another scar the size of a saucer on my thigh.  I need to receive Remicade infusions every 6 weeks. Each infusion takes at least 5 hours. Very draining.  Everything is fine but I fear a flare up at any time.  One result of my previous flare-up is that I stopped running as it is completely impossible to run with this disease. Starting back up again has been a challenge. I did go for a 3.1 mile run the other day though….now it is all about consistency (for those who follow my blog, I bet you can see how challenging “consistency” is for me).

My Baby Goats: Insanity is the rule at the Leone Estates. Each baby goat brings their own set of challenges to the table. I’ll stop here, before saying something I might regret.

My Dad: ALS (Amyotropic Lateral Sclerosis) is a shitty disease. I am watching day by day as my dad progresses through the symptoms. He is virtually unable to speak now and his swallowing is severely affected. We all know what is happening to him and what will happen, but he prefers to work through this one day at a time. This is completely opposite of the “big picture” approach I would take if faced with the same prognosis, but I totally respect his perspective.

My parents live upstairs from me and we bear witness to the merciless, tomorrow-will-be-worse-than- today, progression of this disease. This puts an intense amount of pressure on the kids and I feel this leads to some of the problems that I alluded too above.

I know my dad is suffering and will suffer and that kills me.

Last Sunday was my niece’s First Communion in the Catholic Church. My parents have always considered themselves Christians but I have never in my life seen them practice it.  Last Sunday, we were all sitting in the same row and at one point, I looked over and saw my father on his knees praying. I may be an atheist, but this tore at my heart and I had to leave the church weeping like a child.

My work: INSANE! A pending deadline on a major, highly-visible project is stressful enough without the added stress of my normal day-to-day duties. But, truly, I love my job.

So, that is it in a nutshell…utterly uninteresting. The only purpose for blogging about it is to give me something to blog about.

Thanks to both of you for listening!