Poison Gas

I was taking the elevator today (by the way, I walked the stairs from 1 to 10, two times today! Small victories!), and as the doors were closing a somewhat elderly gentleman, with a cane raced towards me. Being the good doobie that I am, I dove for the "Door Open" button to hold the elevator. The man thanked me and I even asked him on which floor he needed to get off. He said 4 and I dutifully pressed 4 for him as I pressed 10 for me.

He was a tad wobbly and I turned to smile at him. A few short seconds later, we arrived at his floor. The doors popped open and I once again held the "Door Open"  button as he slowly disembarked.

Just as he crossed the threshold, he turned to me to say goodbye. I smiled and said have a great day. He then proceeded to fart. That’s right. Just as the doors began to close, he left me a reminder of his visit.

I think I heard him say, "oops." Nothing else, just "oops." He simply kept walking. Now the doors are closed, trapping the sulphuric gas. I am all alone, choking on the steam rising in my enclosed space. I was just about to pass out from the fog of putridness, when the doors opened at 7.

Much to my dismay and shock, two people joined me on the elevator. Now, it is the three of us with the poison gas still permeating the fibers of my clothes. We all looked straight ahead while the sweat beaded on my forehead and the beautiful woman in front of me swayed.

I got off on 10 and for some reason they stayed on.  As the doors closed behind me, I heard the woman screech out "Holy, sh*t!" and then a ton of laughing as their voices disappeared down the shaft.

I wanted to run down the stairs and meet them as they walked to their car, to tell them it wasn’t me! But I didn’t.

So, I thought I would tell you….IT WASN’T ME!

Question for BoMR: Do you believe me?