Daddy: How was your day at school, Coco (my 4 year old daughter; aka Coca Cola, CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs, Cocarena Nicoco, Coconut, Satana)?Coco: Samuel kissed me.
Daddy: What?!
Coco: He kissed me on the lips.
Daddy: What?!
Coco: He’s my boyfriend.
Daddy: What?!
Coco: We are going to get married.
Daddy: What?!
Coco: He kissed my lunch box and I kissed his.
Daddy: What?!
I am on my way to Samuel’s house so I can punch him in the neck. Film at 11.