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Nothing I write below is meant to insult anyone’s beliefs or belittle them. Both of you readers are extremely important to me and it is never my intent to alienate you. This post was written as much for me as it was for anyone interested.

I have often been asked how I can celebrate Christmas when I have no belief in God. In fact, I remember a debate I got into with a marginally religious friend. In this debate, he stated that I had “no right” to celebrate the holiday since it involved celebrating the birth of a figure I do not even believe existed. Don’t get me wrong, this was a friendly debate. We all enjoy those from time to time. Typically I stay from more vigorous debates where people stop using their intellect and resort to name-calling, judgments or pointing to books that mean nothing to me.

If you will allow me a few minutes of your time, I would sincerely appreciate it.

Here are a few basic assumptions that I am making to form the basis of this post:

  1. God does not exist. I do not believe in the Christian, Hebrew, Muslim or any active creator of the universe. This I call “First Cause.” An argument that doesn’t address this first point, isn’t an argument.
  2. The all too common habit of relabelling this active creator into more marketable (and capitalized) terms like: Love, Spirit, Source, Self, Higher Self, The Truth, The Word, The Unknowable, The Light, Mother Nature, Eric Clapton, Gaia, Mother Earth, etc is a nuisance and completely sidesteps the question of the existence of a deity that created the universe and has an active stake in it.
  3. If God doesn’t exist, then The Bible is pointless to me as a source of “truth.” The Bible does not prove the existence of God in the same way that a book of Greek Mythology does not prove the existence of Zeus, Poseiden or Hades.
  4. The fallacy of the Bible does not mean that there are no stories in it of value or even beautiful and inspirational stories in it (though we all need to ignore many horrific stories in the Bible in order to find a good one, especially in the Old Testament).
  5. Whether you think that not believing in God is a bleak or depressing outlook on life, means nothing to me. EVEN if that were true, I do not find the alternative, blind faith, to be less depressing. I can’t believe in something only because it makes me happy.
  6. Knowing that all I have is myself, family and my friends and that this is the only lifetime I have to live and that there is no one judging me based on my ability to blindly follow is most certainly NOT bleak.
  7. Morality exists without God.
  8. It is not “safer” to believe in God (Pascal’s Wager).
  9. There are good Christians and good Atheists. The converse is true too. Neither side has a monopoly on goodness.
  10. This is important: It is OK to talk about religion. I have trouble with the argument that religion is a taboo topic. Every time I mention religion in a post, I will get one comment that states something along the lines that “you are entitled to your opinion, Dan, but religion is so deeply personal, you really cannot discuss it.”
  11. Many of the people I love are devout Christians (many of the people I love are also homosexuals, conservatives and have myriad other opinions that don’t agee with mine). I don’t love people less because they are Christians or love them more for being an atheist.
  12. My wife is a Greek Orthodox Christian and my children are being raised in that faith. This doesn’t bother me, but I would be happier if they were not indoctrinated until they were old enough to think for themselves. My children know I am an atheist. They sometimes still love me.
  13. I love many of the traditions of religion. Many people decry the ritualism of Catholicism and I have found myself craving them. Of course, this does not mean God exists, but the traditions of religion is a very powerful tool to bring families together.
  14. I think many of you will agree with me that Christmas has almost nothing to do with the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. This saddens me as much as it does you.
  15. If you have regular two way conversations with God, then good for you. You would have to forgive me for not latching onto your conversations as proof of anything. I have a friend that says she was abducted by aliens when she was 12 too. What do I do with that information?

So, here we are. How can an Athesist celebrate Christmas? I am looking forward to bringing the kids to the IHOP parking lot to buy a tree, bring it home, decorate it and put gifts under it. I look forward to watching the kids open their gifts and cebrate with a delicious Italian and Greek feast. How is this possible if I don’t believe in Christmas? Well, please notice that nothing I said has anything to do with Jesus. More importantly, in this crazy life, a few moments of calm, peaceful, reflective togetherness as a family, is so rare, that I cherish these occasions, regardless of their relgiousness.

Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being my friends. I sincerely wish you and your families a wonderful holiday…however you celebrate it.

Question for BoMR: How do you maintain your traditions, religious or otherwise, during the holidays year after year?

17 Responses to “An Atheist at Christmas”

Ummm for fear of being slammed(not by you) but here it goes:
Christmas is a holiday taken from the Pagan/Wiccan religion. The Yule, the tree the time of year. We do know that Christ was born not in December, but there is scientific theory(yeah yeah theory) that it was in March. The pope(and this is documented) Changed the date to coincide with the Pagan/Roman/Greek celebrations, as they wanted to more people to convert to Christianity.
Now that said- People celebrate for their own personal values/beliefs…so be it. One is not right nor wrong.And for another to judge another…just proves my point and belief of the hypocracy. ANd I could go on and on…but I wont…
I get your reasoning…
Am I an athiest? No. I have strong spiritual beliefs, I just dont assign them…I am more of Buddhist than anything for it is one that feels right FOR ME. I am still a good person, still follow values and structure(before there was christianity)Buddhism has meticulaous records…anywho I am done babbling

I’m guessing I’ll be your third reader then ;)

I agree a lot with #13 on your list, only substitute Eastern Orthodoxy for your word Catholic… There is a lot of beauty in religion, but it’s without foundation. As an art form the music, the iconography, and some of the meditations are very beautiful.

I’m not so sure I agree with Jodi above who seems to equate the Wiccan religion with all paganism. I’m afraid Wicca falls into the same trap a lot of Christian beliefs do: They tend to lay claim to practices that occurred long before their particular group was in existence, claiming, like many Christian groups, to be the one true descendant of those previous practices, or to be an unbroken line.

For some reason, ties to the past is an important issue in religion. When I was a christian, I thought that was important, too. From the outside, I see a lot of folly in the claim. Unbroken chains don’t mean there isn’t a weak link… or that it’s attached firmly to something on the other end!

I celebrate christmas pretty much the same way I used to… minus all the church, the fasting, and the praying. The kids and I go to the holiday light shows, watch ditzy holiday movies on Hallmark Channel and Lifetime, and play christmas music from Thanksgiving until midnight on the big day. We celebrate twice, one big celebration on Dec 25, and a smaller one on Jan 7th for extended family.

The kids really enjoy the traditions, and even changing the foods at our family feasts raises an outcry. We’ve been joking a lot about squidmas this year… especially as a result of some of the strong anti-atheist activities at my kids PUBLIC schools… but even the word christmas has stopped being Christ-Mass for us, but a representation of a secular holiday activity.

agree or not, I base it on writings and history that wasnt changed for an alterior motive.
I am not Wiccan although My son is and many people I am friends with…
I was not equating Wiccan with Pagan wholly…just placing it together in a sentence.
I dont assume anything or presume anything, just what I have studied and bantered with people of both religions. I make no assumptions about what another says or writes, either.
I go by what is concrete and what I can see as tangible. Again my beliefs. I do know that Wicca was based on out pagan belief(thought I had said this) if not my apologies. Hence so the ROmans were considered “Pagan” with their beliefs as we call mythology. Okay done.

well, you could never offend me.

I do believe in GOD…but I do NOT believe in any religion.

as for xmas? Im in it for the family traditions and of course the presents.

i was born and raised jewish. i’m raising my children jewish. all of them. but…i’ve never believed in the religion…at all. while i love the cultural part of the religion which i was born in to…i find most religions to be, well, cult-like. i have a hard time with the fact that, every religion believes that their god is the only one…so, which one is right? and, i have problems with all the wars that have been waged…due to religion. and, to be honest, i flat out…don’t believe in god. never have. i like the idea that there is something bigger out there but, i don’t really believe in it.
so, as for the traditions…we celebrate chanukkah. the kids get presents. i get one. so does my hubby. but, we don’t get into the whole religious meaning of chanukkah.
my step kids…they celebrate christmas with their mom’s family. again, not the religious part…simply the presents part.
i wish i had a stronger faith in god but…i don’t…but, i won’t go to hell because of it because…i don’t believe in that, either!
great post. seems you have more than 2 readers, now…

Any excuse people use to be nicer, happier and more generous is okay by me, whether the people in question are Christian, Mormon or purple.

The religion of Eric Clapton…..I like it!!
My traditions for Christmas are based not so much on religion but the family togetherness values and the power of the nervous breakdown trying to keep above family in complete and utter harmony whether they (or me) like it or not!!
Seinfield had it right - Happy Festivus all!!

AMEN;)

I was never baptized, went to 12 years of Catholic school while attending Baptist and Congregational Sunday Schools and Bible Camps.

My daughter is in kindergarten at our local Catholic school only because our public school is a very scary place.

I’m not really an Atheist, probably more of a Deitist…I believe in something, but not in the traditional “God” sense…and definitely am not a fan of organized religion. Just had a debate about the bible issue…I agree with you 150%.

Yet, I still celebrate Christmas…oh, and Easter. Go figure. I believe in family and traditions and spreading positive energy by paying it forward. Oh, and I like giving and getting presents, why would I stop celebrating something that involves presents?!

People do not *stop* being Catholic, as they do not stop being Jews. Just my opinion. It is a cultural thing, and often transcends “religion”. As with Jews, it is also an outlook, habits, ethnicity, history; a whole way one approaches life.

–slack, new age cultural Catholic :)

Merry Christmas Dan!!

As a single girl in So Cal my “Christmas traditions” have changed drastically. What I do love is giggling at the people who inflate snowmen in their front yard when it’s 70 degrees out, watching Christmas Vacation, attempts at stealing the baby jesus from the neighbors yard, and my dread of trekking home to Seattle.

bravo to you, dan, for posting this and staying so calmly rational. my own beliefs about god are kinda out in left field and so many people don’t understand how i can go to church most every week and still claim that god as a being does not exist. for me, that’s because i found a place where i’m accepted for me and the service doesn’t ask for blind faith, but for thoughtfulness instead. i can really relate to a lot of your points in this post. thank you so much for writing it and writing it so well.

and to dorid - i don’t think that jodi did equate wicca to all paganism. looked to me like it was a combination of pagan and wiccan, which makes sense … wicca does fall under the usual definitions for pagan, but there is more under the umbrella of pagan than just wicca. and the original reasons for moving christmas to its current date had to do with several pagan religions, including wicca.

From Wikipedia: Paganism (from Latin paganus, meaning “country dweller, rustic”) is a term which, from a Western perspective, has come to connote a broad set of spiritual or cultic practices or beliefs of any folk religion, and of historical and contemporary polytheistic religions in particular.

The term can be defined broadly, to encompass the faith traditions outside the Abrahamic monotheistic group of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. ….

The term “pagan” is a Christian adaptation of the “gentile” of Judaism, and as such has an inherent Christian or Abrahamic bias, and pejorative connotations among Westerners, comparable to heathen, and infidel, mushrik and kafir (كافر) in Islam.

The point about “good Christians” and “good atheists” is such a good one. I grow weary of the concept that morality must be related to religion. I know I am a good person–even though I am Catholic by birth (with 6 years of school with nuns) and a recovering born again conservative baptist now technically agnostic but leaning towards atheist.

I’m getting my pagan christmas tree this week, and wrapping most of my presents tonight. Tradition and family are good things, no matter how they came about.

Thanks for the thoughtful post.

We have a tree, we get together with family, buy lots of gifts that will take several months to pay off… You know, the usual.

And might I just say, I think it’s wonderful that you celebrate Christmas with your family, even if you don’t believe in the “reason for the season”. It really is a time for togetherness and reflection, and that can’t be half bad for anyone.

Merry Christmas, Dan!

thanks for such a thought-provoking post. I for one am impressed with the positive and open tone of your article as well as the comments listed here. it’s refreshing to find such a tolerant crew. happy holidys to all, in any and all forms.

this is what i believe in firmly. i believe in whatever gets me a few days off work. if tomorrow someone makes blistonia day a holiday? i am SOOO goin’ blistonian. unless they chop up bread and make you eat it to symbolize blistonia and the sacrifice all the fish on that planet made for us. i mean, i’m just not that thankful for that.

but the great thing i think about being blistonian? no one else has to believe. in *fact* the fewer that believe, the better. more space in croc-croc (their version of heaven).

okay, i shall lay off the eggnog long enough to say great post. :)

Very very well put. I consider myself from the church of “I have no clue.” I don’t want to throw blind faith in something so intangible, yet I feel that on the other side of the coin, I can’t throw 100% faith in the fact that something/someone DOESN’T exist. I am perfectly happy knowing that I don’t know and don’t seek to know. I am moral for its own merits. I love my fellow human being because it makes me happy to do so. I treat people fairly and with respect because that is how I would like to be treated. My wife is catholic and I too don’t mind her taking the reigns in my son’s spiritual upbringing. My only rule is “no Catholic School.” I want my son to see religion as a personal, private choice - not a curriculum. Great blog… found you by way of Missives from Suburbia. She really got you with that gingerbread house eh? haha.

Thank you for treating this post with repect and calm. I appreciated what you had to say and also appreciated your honesty and peace in the way you stated it.
Many atheists are VERY angry…at least those I have come in contact with.
Happy New Year!

Something to say?