Me, He and She

Posted by danleone on November 23rd, 2007 filed in my father

Me, my mom and my dad at my in-laws’ dinner table having coffee and Greek pastries. My in-laws are Greek and they make the best pastries.

I am a tad scruffy because I am taking a med that is really wreaking havoc with my skin. Trust me, I used to look like Brad Pitt. But now I look more like a rabid and foamy pit bull….with bad skin.

One of my favorite things to do when I am looking at pictures is to remove the subjects from the foreground and to focus on everything else. Check out the background at my Mother-In-Law’s house. Clearly, you can see that they have a shrine to my children; their only grandchildren. You can also see that awesome 1980′s photo of my sister-in-law behind my mom’s head! I am ecstatic that my mom doesn’t have my high school photo on her wall!

I have never really paid attention to that painting in the background before despite having seen it a million times. This bit of Americana is an atypical site in this sternly Greek household.

My mom and dad came over my in-laws’ house for coffee on Thanksgiving. Otherwise, they spent their holiday alone, by their choice. We are entering a period of quiet reflection at the Leone Estates; a sort of introspection as the reality of my father’s illness sets in.

What I am afraid of though is that we will try “force” the moments. This picture of me and my dad, is one of the only ones we have ever taken together. This is not because we are not close or have a strained relationship. It is more because we have never been an overly affection family.

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6 Responses to “Me, He and She”

  1. Lyssa Ireland Thomas Says:

    That’s what I love about having little kids. It’s so easy to snuggle with them.

    I’m surprised that you said that about your family because you all look very comfortable.

    My father’s side of the family has always had a hard time expressing affection. (My Mom’s side consists of the huggers and laughers.) But I see my father trying very hard with my kids to show love, which is not easy for him.

    Good luck! You are all in my thoughts.

    BTW, I think you look handsome. Not at all pit bull-like!

  2. Deb Says:

    Blah, blah, blah… sentimental response*.

    What I really want to know is why is your mom patting your daughter’s behind in this shot:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/danleone/2057320330/in/photostream/

    *You know how I really feel on the topic of parents and illness. No need to wear my heart on my sleeve every day, right? Okay, okay… cherish the photos. Who cares why you’re taking them? Just take them. I swear to you the “why” won’t matter someday.

  3. jodi Says:

    Deb said it…dont think of why…Just take them…with you the kids, with mom…and more so? Try to get them candid…I believe they will hold more, as its not posed and not “forced”.

    Keep the scruff! Looks good!

  4. Sue Says:

    Take the pictures as hard as it might be at times. When my Aunt died, we could find no pictures of her with the kids because she was always the picture-taker. I made a point at family gatherings to try to get some candid shots of my mom with the kids and my brothers. I treasure them now that she’s gone, as hard as it was taking them knowing how ill she was.

  5. Avery Says:

    I totally understand that. My family was never very affectionate either. Now that all of us are grown and out of the house, my mom has reached a stage where she regrets not taking more pictures. I don’t have any of just me and my dad. I wish I did.

  6. Laurie Anne Says:

    When my dad was diagnosed with cancer I experienced the same thoughts/feelings about “forcing” things. It is strange because on one hand, you want to do/say/share/ask because time is limited. On the other hand, you don’t want to disrupt what is…it’s like to alter your behavior would be an admission of defeat or as if the times before had not been good enough and now we’re getting “serious.”

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