The Longest Drive

Posted by danleone on November 8th, 2007 filed in my father

I drove my mom and dad to the hospital today. Ostensibly, for a “second opinion” on his ALS diagnosis. Realistically, it was a confirmation of what we already knew: He has short time left. His expiration date is set for 2 years.  Make the best of it. The business of dying begins today. Get your affairs in order. Death won’t hurt. Dying will.

I live in a two family house and my parents live upstairs. I see them every day and so do my three Baby Goats.

For the entire drive up, about one hour, we didn’t say a word to each other.  Small talk was wrong. Big talk was wronger.

With the finality of the news seeping into our brains, we said nothing again.

Then, half way home, my dad, looking straight ahead, said “take care of your mother.”

I can’t do this.

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17 Responses to “The Longest Drive”

  1. Jodi Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    Ah man…Dan
    Sending you a hug and just a shoulder…

    I can understand..

  2. paisley Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 8:29 pm

    sure you can… and you will.. your father did his job… now it is time for you to do yours…

    who do you think walked thru the valley of the shadow of death with his parents??

    he has served you and his own parents well.. now it is our turn.. i believe in you…

  3. Lyssa Ireland Thomas Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    Dan,

    I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. You will find the strength to make it through this for your family.

    Lyssa

  4. Chuck Says:
    November 8th, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    Dan,

    We’ve only just met but my thoughts are with you and your family. You’ve got this. You can do this. You have to. – Chuck

  5. Deb Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 1:07 am

    No one does it alone, my dear. Just remember to start leaning before you need a shoulder. That way someone can be there to catch you on the days when you need just a teensy bit more strength.

  6. DrowseyMonkey Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 2:43 am

    ALS runs in my family as well. My dad passed away 2 years ago, he didn’t have ALS but a similar neruological disease. You can do it, but always remember to reach out to others as well. There are lots of great support groups out there and they can be helpful.

  7. Mahala Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 8:36 am

    I’m so sorry :(

  8. Beth Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 10:46 am

    It is amazing what we can do even though we think we can’t…

  9. Kristina Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Very sorry Dan!

  10. sophie Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 2:19 pm

    You will find the strength you need to do what needs doing. Hang in there. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this, but I know that you can deal with it.

  11. Kristina Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 4:37 pm

    You can do this. You are doing this. And it looks like in spite of the great amounts of pain that are a natural part of times like this, you are doing a beautiful job of it already.

  12. Avery Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 8:58 pm

    My heart aches for you. I’m so sorry. I wish there were words to tell you how much.

  13. terri Says:
    November 9th, 2007 at 9:11 pm

    I can’t begin to imagine pain and heartache you are experiencing. I wish there were words that would offer you some comfort, but there are none. Please know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

  14. Rach Says:
    November 11th, 2007 at 9:15 am

    That is so sad, you can do it and you will, it will be a struggle at times, but it is your role, just as it was his to raise you.

    Thinking of you loads, big hugs from the UK
    Rach

  15. meleah rebeccah Says:
    November 11th, 2007 at 6:07 pm

    My heart breaks for you right now. Im so sorry you have to deal with this.

  16. MommyCosm Says:
    November 22nd, 2007 at 7:23 am

    Delurking to say that my thoughts are with your dad and your family.
    It’s amazing what we can do when we have no choice. You have a great sense of humor that will help you survive even the darkest days. It’s a gift that you’ll need to tap into to get through this.

  17. Mike Says:
    November 22nd, 2007 at 11:15 am

    My father passed away suddenly a few years ago (way before his time). I never got to tell him everything I wanted to. I don’t know how close, and honest, you are with your Dad, but take this time to express to him your gratitude, love, etc.

    I’m sorry.

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