I was sitting here with my 10 year old son as he worked on his homework. Don’t let me fool you, what this usually means is that I hover over him and tell him when to blink, because it seems this kid is sometimes incapable of accomplishing two consecutive steps without being cattle prodded.
It usually goes something like this:
- Dad: “Will you stop picking your nose and just write your name on the effing piece of paper?!”
- Michael: “YOU HATE ME!”
He storms out in tears. Welcome to my every day.
This homework is actually make-up homework from the night before. He had a list of words related to early explorers. Each word was on a separate sheet of paper with the following questions to fill out:
- Word:
- Definition:
- Where did you learn this definition:
- Synonym:
- Antonym:
Because the pages were sort of generic, we didn’t worry when it asked for antonyms for some of the words. “Just tell the teacher that there isn’t one.” I told Michael.
It turned out that he was marked incorrect by his teacher and he needs to complete it tonight. I just threw my hands in the air and said something like: “How am I ever going to do your homework for you, when the teacher (all of 21 years old) is asking you for the impossible.” Now my son hates me because his VERY short-lived dream that his father is a genius is shattered in a second and none of the pleading I do is changing his opinion…actually making it worse as I tell him “I am not an idiot son. There really is no way to do this homework. Trust me!”
“Sure Dad, whatever you say.” As he hangs his head in shame.
So, with my tail between my legs, I turn to you, BoMR, to guide me. You have helped me get through some pretty tough times and turn to you once again.
Question for BoMR (Both of My Readers):
Can you tell me a synonym and antonym for these words?
Compass
Age of Exploration
Explorer
Astrolabe
Here is what I have come up with:
Compass:
- synonym = That directional device that really doesn’t do anything especially when they put one in your car (”Everyone in the car, we are driving NNE today!).
- antonym = The biological gene that allows me to get lost…and NOT ask for directions (Yes, I went there, ladies and gentlemen. I am edgy like that! Pushing-the-envelope Leone, at your service. Stay tuned for my White Guys Can’t Dance routine!)
Age of Exploration:
- synonym = Age of Self-Stimulation
- antonym = Age of Having Your Mother Walk In While Self-Stimulating And The Subsequent Years Of Therapy
Explorer:
- synonym = “2nd Base” when the world is your oyster
- antonym = Marriage when you can’t even get up to bat
Astrolabe:
- synonym = Whattheeffisanastrolabe
- antonym = shoelace
I am turning to both of you now. You are my only hope.