Imponderable #9598

Posted by danleone on November 1st, 2007 filed in imponderable

Can someone please tell me why English Muffins taste so horrible raw? I mean bread is good, toasted or not.It is simply a matter of choice whether you will put a slice of bread in the toaster. But what ingredient is in an English Muffin that really needs to be cooked?

Also, I don’t know about your toaster / toaster oven, but when I make toast, I can always toast any slice of bread within one cycle. But English Muffins need to be toasted 8 million times in order to actually make it look like the picture on the packaging.

Now that we are on the subject, can someone tell me if there is any English in an English Muffin? In England right now, is anyone sitting there at the breakfast table saying: “Mum, I could really go for some English muffins in all their nooks and crannies goodness right now.” If they leave off the English part, how do they distinguish between that and a traditional “American” muffin? Is that where the word crumpet comes in?

Have I beaten the muffin issue to death?

The only rule for commenting to this post is that I will permanently ban anyone who writes: “You have too much time on your hands, Dan.”

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11 Responses to “Imponderable #9598”

  1. jodi Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 12:18 pm

    Dan…you have too — Oh what was that?
    :)

    Well you left out the scones…what about the scones? Arent they just messy muffins?
    And truly what DOES the Muffin Man think of this muffin wordage being slung around like hash? I mean really…

  2. t'other Dan Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 12:22 pm

    We don’t call them English Muffins in England, they are crumpets.

    Which is also slang for a attractive young lady. So there you go.

  3. Lyssa Ireland Thomas Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 12:45 pm

    This “toasting” English Muffin issue has plagued me, also. I was just afraid to say it out loud. Thank you from freeing me from my personal hell.

    As far as the English go – don’t you find anything they say sounds all classy with their saucy little accents? They could call them “bum muffins” and I’d be all like, “ain’t that lovely!”

  4. danleone Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 1:52 pm

    Big Dan – I reposted this one because I KNEW you would have some insight.

    Lyssa – You are safe at cafeleone.net. Be afraid of nothing. “BUM MUFFINS!…that is so awesome!

  5. danleone Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 2:04 pm

    Jodi – Go ahead, say it “Dan, you have too much time on your hands.” If the worst thing that happens to you today is that you are banned from my blog, really, is that such a punishment?

  6. Jodi Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 6:07 pm

    *GASP*
    You sell yourself short…I would be devastated.

    Sooo, since you are calling me out…I will call ya…

    DAN HAS WAYYYYYYYYYYY TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS!
    AND…..I really wish he’d just get his pen and a pad of paper and just write write write….until his mind settles.
    How’s that?
    And you didnt answer the scone thing or the Muffin man thing…geesh.
    I think you are just taunting me to get on 95!

  7. Deb Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    You need a new toaster.

  8. Avery Says:
    November 1st, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    Raw English muffins taste like baking soda and dirt. How would I know what baking soda and dirt tastes like? Because I have way too much time on my hands.

  9. Lilacspecs Says:
    November 2nd, 2007 at 12:54 am

    Dan, have you had a crumpet? An old room mate of mine used to love them with lemon curd (yes, lemon curd…and people tease me for liking pizza without sauce). Basically it tastes like, well, like a lemon loosed it’s bowls all over a wet sponge. And let’s not go into the British version of pudding.

  10. Kristina Says:
    November 2nd, 2007 at 10:38 am

    I am constantly amazed my the inner workings of your brain. It must be a very interesting place to spend some time.

    Hmmmm…that *could* be translated into “you have too much time on your hands, Dan” …

  11. sleeping beauty Says:
    November 2nd, 2007 at 2:30 pm

    I am not a fan of the English muffin. I will have to load it with butter and jelly and then it is just not healthy anymore, lol. Besides, that thing is sooo hard to eat! It hurts me teeth and scraps the top of my mouth up.

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