My rampage against business cliches and jargon

I work in  a corporate environment and I know that whatever job one has, it comes with its own language and jargon. Some of those words are necessary and specific to the profession. But what really sets me on edge is when I hear a barrage of business cliches that do nothing to move the conversation forward. My current pet peeve phrase is: “Getting our ducks in a row.” AAAARRRRGH! If I hear that one again, I am going to launch myself out the window!

Here is a repost of a post I wrote last year with even more terms. Remember, the list is based on a real presentation I attended. I was so side-tracked by the cliches that I had no idea what he was talking about.

Those annoying business cliches that people use when they have no idea what they are talking about! I went to a sales meeting in May and from a single presentation, here is what I heard:

“moving the needle”
“move this product through the gates”
“we have sharpened our pencils”
“we have to execute on all levels”
“we have pockets of success”
“we will use this as kind of an eye chart” – I don’t even know what that means!
“demographic or age buckets”
“forward thinking”
“penetrate the distribution and maximize the market”
“sell at the margin-enhanced price”
“the big uptick will be in….”
“everyone needs to be fully sampled”
“this is just a snapshot”
“look at the competive landscape”
“look at the metrics and incentivize…”
“sell the hot bag” – ????!!!!!
“gaining traction”
“going forward”
“as per…”

and my all-time stomach turning favorite, “peeling the onion”

This is from one person during one presentation! Once he started speaking, I completely disregarded the purpose of the presentation and began copying everything down. My hands hurt.

I have been on a rampage at work against those generic, military-inspired cliches since that meeting. So, “as per” my previous post, “going forward” you will never hear me using these phrases!