Once again….I am in Vegas

I am sure that both of you missed my witty observations about life this past week, but I have been preparing for a trip to Vegas. I am here until Wednesday. I am giving a small presentation at a user’s conference here and then spending a lot of time watching people.

Here are a few brief observations that I have compiled over my last two visits here:

1. Why is nothing EVER as close as it seems? From Caesar’s Palace, where I am staying to the conference in the Venetian, it seems like it is always a half hour walk despite the fact that I can see the Venetian from my window. Not to mention that every hotel and casino is a city unto itself, I can spend thirty minutes just walking from my room to a bar in the casino. I don’t get it.
2. Dry heat is still heat…especially when it is over 100 degrees!
3. I don’t trust anything I see here. I feel like everything is painted on or somehow an illusion. I look out my window and I can see mountains, but I KNOW that they are fake and are really just painted on to my window. I have tried to scrape them off but that hasn’t worked yet.
4. I don’t understand how people can bring their children to Vegas. No matter the marketing people say, Vegas is not a family destination.
5. I do not believe I have seen a single sign of wildlife. I mean not even a bird, insect or squirrel. Where are they?
6. Though I have no concept of gambling, I can see the value in poker and blackjack, but why would ANYONE spend hours pushing a button on a slot machine?
7. I want to give myself an ammonia dip when I get home.
8. How much  does it cost the fat, disgusting old man to walk around with three beautiful 20 year olds with their ultra-mini skirts so tight that I can see their tattoos.
9. If you are not a 20-something whose profession is to use their body, then do not, I repeat, do not walk around the casino in the aforementioned ultra-mini.
10. When I am outside, am I really outside? Or is that part of the illusion?

Thanks for listening!

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