I went to Starbucks this morning. I understand that it is the evil empire, but in Boston the only alternative is Dunkin’ Donuts. I am not about to patronize a company that uses their donuts as a coffee filter (that is what the coffee tastes like to me). Besides, I really am off the coffee for now so all I drink is an occasional shot of espresso. For those who don’t know, an espresso is about 1.5 ounces of liquid gold. It is heaven in a cup. It also forms the basis of ALL their fancy coffee drinks.
I stepped up to the multi-pierced cashier and ordered a “For Here Doppio.” Doppio is Italian for double. I wanted a 3 ounce coffee orgasm. The multi-pierced cashier squeaked the order to the multi-tattooed barista and in 3 minutes I was presented with the requested 3 ounces of velvety-love BUT IN A LARGE MUG! They “ran out” of demi-tasses! The store was opened 15 minutes ago! Why are you out of demi-tasses? That would be like McDonald’s running out of hamburgers. “Sorry, Sir, I gave you a McFish sandwich made with nothing that was ever a fish because we ran out of hamburgers!” But instead of McDonald’s price of a nickle for the sandwich, a double shot of silken magic costs about $493!
To put an espresso (smooth death) in a large mug is the equivalent of drinking the finest champagne from a Nalgene water bottle. The espresso (creamy hugs) in a large cup means that it will be cold in 3 seconds and the ever-so-delicate crema that forms on the top is broken and sloshing around like sea foam in a fetid tide pool. If I went to a fine restaurant and ordered a cheesecake and they threw it into the blender, and gave it to me in a tall glass with a straw and said: “Sorry, we are out of plates”, it would be the EXACT SAME THING!
Now, under no circumstances did I complain to the woman. I NEVER complain to service people. I have had MANY service jobs in my life and unless she spit in my coffee, she can do no wrong. BUT what I did do was write a kind note to the district manager in hopes that they understand that an imperfect espresso (black manna) can only lead to imperfect EVERY OTHER DRINK ON THEIR MENU!
I am ashamed that I wasted both of you valuable times with the rant.
Question for both of you: Tell me something that will trip your trigger (make me feel good by keeping it trivial)
Having to be interrogated by pimple faced Wal-Mart employees when I want to buy decongestants.
Left by Mahala on August 17th, 2007