Some Disassembly Required

Children’s toys should now have a “Some Disassembly Required” warning label on them. I came to this conclusion after spending most of Christmas furiously trying to detach toys from their twist-tied prison. The pressure was intensified as my baby goats were hovering over me as if`the gift I had in my hand was the last gift on the planet. On one stupid Spiderman car I must have removed 15 of those damned things! One of my daughter’s dolls came with a foot long twisty that wove its way in and around the dolls ankles as if the person packing the doll had a night job as a dominatrix. I was surprised I didn’t see a red ball gag in the doll’s mouth. I guess I didn’t know the “safe word” because I almost told my daughter that the cardboard backing was part of the doll and should not be removed.

Give me assembly instructions written in Japanese any day!